The Beauty in You: Podcast

Planning for Tomorrow: Self-Care and Legal Affairs with Sharon Baker-Boykin

• Chi Quita Mack, MSW • Season 1 • Episode 30

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Welcome back to another enriching episode of "The Beauty in You: Podcast," where we provide a safe space for women to relax, be inspired, and rediscover themselves through topics like healing, self-love, and creating a positive mindset. Today we're diving into the crucial topic of estate planning and personal well-being with our special guest, Sharon Baker-Boykin.

Sharon, an accomplished author and attorney with a 40-year legal career in Georgia, will be sharing invaluable insights on managing your personal affairs, the significance of self-care, and her journey as one of the few African American females in her law school. Through her personal experiences, challenges, and dedication to empowering others, Sharon offers practical advice on setting boundaries, planning your estate, and avoiding family disputes.

We'll also discuss her essential book, "Help Me Get My Stuff in Order," which simplifies the estate planning process, and her latest work, "Managing My Eights," focused on the importance of self-care. So grab a cup of tea, settle in, and join us for a transformative conversation designed to help you take control of your life and legacy. 

Don't forget to rate, review, and subscribe to "The Beauty in You" podcast!


To work with Sharon:
 www.HelpMeGetMyStuffInOrder.com
www.LegalLifeCoachSharonBaker.com

To work with Chi Quita Mack:
Take Back Your Life 1-on-1 Coaching — Life Coach - The ChiQuita Mack
To Purchase The Beauty in You Workbook:
https://www.thechiquitamack.com/shop-tcm/p/the-beauty-in-you-a-guide-created-to-help-you-discover-the-best-version-of-you
Chi Quita Mack's Website: https://www.thechiquitamack.com
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Jacqueline G. [00:00:01]:
Welcome to the Beauty in you podcast, a safe place created for all women to come relax, get inspired, and be constantly reminded that they have not lost the ability to be who they once were. Join us as we dive into the true meaning of rediscovery through inspiring guests and topics such as healing, self love, and creating a positive mindset. So sit back, relax and get comfortable as we dive into this week's episode. Here's your host, Chiquita Mack.

Chi Quita Mack [00:00:29]:
Hey, y'all. Welcome back to another episode episode of the Beauty and you podcast. I'm so excited because we're heading to my hometown of Georgia. Our guest today is not only an accomplished author, but an esteemed attorney with an impressive 40 year career in the state of Georgia. Her diverse legal journey has seen her to excel in roles such as prosecutor, attorney, judge, state and local government employee. Additionally, she holds an insurance license showcasing her expertise as a lifelong learner. She is passionate about sharing her knowledge to help others make powerful decisions about their lives. Welcome to the beauty and you podcast.

Chi Quita Mack [00:01:10]:
Sharon Baker Boykin, how are you?

Sharon Boykin [00:01:13]:
I am just so fine, and thank you so much for the invitation and I'm looking forward to our discussion.

Chi Quita Mack [00:01:19]:
I am so excited to have you here. I'm so impressed. Like I told you when we talked previously, your journey is just amazing. Your career alone is amazing. So can you just start out by talking about your rediscovery journey?

Sharon Boykin [00:01:34]:
Wow. Well, as you mentioned in the introduction, I'm a licensed attorney in the state of Georgia for 40 years. And every time I say that, I'm just surprised myself because the time has gone by so quickly. And I've done a lot of different things in my career, from being in private practice to being a part time magistrate court judge to being a prosecutor, a special assistant attorney general, I've worked in state and local government and was a probate court administrator in DeKalb County, Georgia. So, yeah, I've done a lot of things in those 40 years and have learned a lot and enjoy sharing what I have learned so people can, like I say, get their stuff in order and stay out of trouble.

Chi Quita Mack [00:02:25]:
Absolutely. During the course of your 40 year career, what are some challenges that you have faced?

Sharon Boykin [00:02:34]:
Well, you and I both are african american females.

Chi Quita Mack [00:02:38]:
Yes, ma'am.

Sharon Boykin [00:02:39]:
And a lot of times we're the first one in our family who are in certain rooms and have gone through certain challenges. And it is that's acts a lot more pressure on you when you're the first one. Back now, 40 years ago, when I was in law school and in my first year of law school at University of Georgia, they admitted 151st year students. How many do you think were African Americans?

Chi Quita Mack [00:03:12]:
I'm gonna guess three.

Sharon Boykin [00:03:14]:
Well, a little better than that. A little better. Ten out of 150 were African Americans. And out of the tenement, two females and eight guys. I was one of the females and another female. She was from California. In fact, she transferred and left Georgia and went back to California to finish her law degree, her law school education. But, you know, when you're the first one, especially in your family or just in that kind of an environment, it adds more pressure on you, so you become stronger inside and out, and you wish that your ancestors had done it before you so they could have left a trail for you.

Sharon Boykin [00:03:58]:
But when you're the first one, you're going through the desert, first of all, with the machete, and you're getting scratched up, but you're learning. And I think a lot of us, when we are in that role, we want to leave a legacy behind so we could help someone coming behind us so their journey won't be, as I would say, frightening, but as challenging when you were one of the first ones to go through it. So that I have taken that to be my calling card, to share what I have learned to help those coming behind me who want to be an attorney or whatever they want to do in business, just, you know, to open their eyes a little wider so they can understand what they're going to have to endure and succeed at.

Chi Quita Mack [00:04:43]:
Absolutely. You've definitely done that just by your courageousness. I mean, that has to feel intimidating. You know, walking in, I've always. I mean, that's the first thing, you know, it's like, how many African Americans are there in the room and then how many are female? Like, that's the first thing that we always pay attention to. And I found in my journey. Cause I'm in the military and I'm an african american officer, and every time I come to the table in these meetings, I'm the only one black female or black officer. And that pressure is there.

Chi Quita Mack [00:05:17]:
That pressure to know what I'm talking about is there, and the pressure to set an example for those that are gonna come behind me and be mentors for them as well, to let them know, like, our path is not easy, but I, you know, through hard work and determination, we can do it. And so I'd really like to show that. To show that, as african american woman, we do have to deal with a lot more than other races when going through our journey. How are you able to have a good mindset as you're accomplishing all these.

Sharon Boykin [00:05:51]:
Things well, and I think, too, especially I would say, african american females, our internal excellence meter is very high.

Chi Quita Mack [00:06:02]:
That's true.

Sharon Boykin [00:06:02]:
I think it's something we're born with and we're going to work, we're going to achieve, and we may do something. And someone said, oh, that was great. But internally we say, oh, we wish it had been more perfect when we got to kind of eliminate the word perfect from our environment so that we can enjoy life and learn and grow. But I think it's just something that we're born with. And so coming in, and once you recognize that, then you can sometimes put a smile on your face and enjoy what you've accomplished and rest because we put a lot of things on our plate that we don't need to have on our plate. And sometimes the last thing that's on the plate is how to have self care. How do we juggle that? How do we manage that, and how do we still enjoy life? But just understanding that, you know, this world we live in is very interesting. And people have some preconceived notice or opinions of us just by how we look versus who we are on the inside.

Sharon Boykin [00:07:12]:
But then once they find out that excellence meter that we have is so high, they continue to put more and more on our plate and they go and enjoy life while we're working.

Chi Quita Mack [00:07:22]:
Yep.

Sharon Boykin [00:07:23]:
So we have got to realize how to say no and how to take care of ourselves. But like I said, also, you know, just how to give back and help those coming behind us because our ancestors did the same thing, maybe in a different way, but they created some pathways for us, and we got to continue to give back.

Chi Quita Mack [00:07:45]:
Absolutely give back. And that self care is so important. I am so big on self care and just learning how to be intentional because that burnout feeling is real. Like that feeling of like, oh, my gosh, I'm so tired, I can't take on anymore. But it was very hard in the beginning because I felt that I had to do everything and I had to keep going because that's what we do as black women. We're supposed to endure everything and not show any feelings and just keep going and keep adding more, and we was not going to make it that way. I'm like, oh, I need to break. So I really push that being intentional just about ourselves and about the things that we feel are important.

Chi Quita Mack [00:08:25]:
We got to enjoy life.

Sharon Boykin [00:08:27]:
Absolutely have to. And in fact, I'm going to send you one of my newest books. It's called managing my eights.

Chi Quita Mack [00:08:33]:
Ooh. Yes.

Sharon Boykin [00:08:34]:
And that means we sleep eight. Supposedly, we sleep 8 hours. We're working 8 hours. Let's say we work for someone or in a business, but then that third set of 8 hours, everybody has the same 24 hours. How do we manage that third set of eights? You know, that's why I said sometimes you have to put some appointments on your calendar just for you. It may be okay. I'm gonna get my hair done, my nails done, I'm gonna exercise. I'm gonna do something.

Sharon Boykin [00:09:07]:
Put that appointment on your calendar and keep that appointment with yourself, that part, because then when someone now wants to pour more stuff on your plate, you say, oh, I'm sorry, what date and time. Oh, I'm sorry. I already have an appointment. You don't have to tell them what the appointment is, but it's for you. So I've had to learn. Sometimes we learn these things the hard way, that you have got to take care of you and not get so caught up, you know, this is a continuous learning process, too. Don't say it. And, okay, it's done.

Sharon Boykin [00:09:41]:
Flip your, you know, snap your finger, and now you've got it done. No, it's still a learning and growing process, but we have got to manage our eights.

Chi Quita Mack [00:09:51]:
I like that. I like that title. Manage your 8th. I never thought about it like that. I never thought about like that. Yes. And I like how before you said no. Like, no is a whole sentence.

Sharon Boykin [00:10:04]:
Yes.

Chi Quita Mack [00:10:05]:
You don't have to say nothing else. It's just no. That's it. No, no. So I really, really like that. You are big on helping others, and you're definitely big on helping others get their stuff in order. You've written a book about it, so can you talk to me about that?

Sharon Boykin [00:10:26]:
Here's the thing, everyone, no matter what race, nationality, wherever you live, we had a date. We were born, and we have a date that we're going to transition and leave. We don't know when that second date is going to occur. We're living what they call in that dash.

Chi Quita Mack [00:10:47]:
Yes, ma'am.

Sharon Boykin [00:10:49]:
And yes, as an attorney, I have done wheels and estate plans for individuals and. But personally, this was my personal journey. My father, I'm a daddy's girl. I don't know who else is a daddy's girl. I'm the oldest of four siblings, and even my mother would go, ask your daddy, because he'll tell you, yes, I love it. So I was a daddy's girl, but my sister and I visited my family the week before Father's Day in 2018. That Friday, before, we were backing out of the driveway in another city in Georgia, waving at my mother, and dad said, we'll see you next week. We're going to come back and go to church with you on Father's Day at your church.

Sharon Boykin [00:11:35]:
And that was my last memory of my father alive. He had an illness. He died the Friday before Father's Day in 2018. And here it is, 2024. And I'm still. All my dots have not connected. But my family's journey of sadness didn't end in June. I actually had death in the family in July, August, September, October, November, December, January.

Chi Quita Mack [00:12:06]:
Wow.

Sharon Boykin [00:12:07]:
You don't want to answer the phone. You're just like, who is it this time? And all over the country, some have their stuff in order, meaning they had a will or a trust or something for their estate plan. Some did not. So my great aunt was the last one in that long line of deaths in the family. She died in January of 2019. Well, four months later is when I became the probate court administrator in DeKalb County, Georgia. And probate court is the court that handles that type of law, whether you die with the plan or without a plan. Probate court handles that scenario.

Sharon Boykin [00:12:46]:
And now I'm looking at what happens from the state of Georgia's perspective each and every day. Some that have their stuff in order, some did not have this stuff in order. The ugly fights. Because, you know, we live in a situation where people have been married a couple of times, they have children in different relationships, different marriages. They don't all like each other. They don't all get along. They don't speak. But if dad died and didn't have a will or trust or any other estate plan in place, it's getting ready to be very ugly.

Sharon Boykin [00:13:21]:
So what my sister had encouraged me to do, because I had started writing books at that point, and she said, write a book about what happens and help people to understand this process. And she said, her comment to me was, do not use the fancy legal words you lawyers like to use.

Chi Quita Mack [00:13:41]:
Because.

Sharon Boykin [00:13:41]:
We don't know what y'all, what y'all talking about. We gotta smile and nod ahead like, we know we don't know what y'all are talking about. Keep it very simple so you can help educate the person. So that's why the book is entitled help me get my stuff in order. And it's actually a workbook because I want you to now go through all the stuff you have. Think about it. Who would you like to leave your stuff to? It's not the wheel itself, it's just you getting in the right mindset of looking at and doing inventory of all the things you have and what I call legal life coaching. Now, I do a lot of general talks on this topic, and that's what and just become now something that I am just passionate about, both because of how it affected the family from my insides dealing with all those deaths.

Sharon Boykin [00:14:31]:
And now from the course perspective, I said God was preparing me from the inside and the outside on this one topic, and I do a lot of talks about it. And because I am more encouraged to get us to get our stuff in order because there are some startling statistics in this area. 61% of Caucasian Americans, 67% of english speaking Asians, 77% of African Americans and 82% of Hispanics die without a wheel or an estate plan. So no matter which group you're in, the majority, you know, we don't want to think about it, you know, because I've heard some people say, well, if I do a will, I'm telling God I'm ready to die. No, that second date that we don't want to think about is already predetermined. We just don't know when it's going to occur. You know, you turn on your news every morning, somebody died, either through crime or natural causes or some earthly issue earthquake. You know, we have this hurricane that come through and, you know, it does a lot of damages, and we just don't know when our second date is going to occur.

Sharon Boykin [00:15:57]:
So that's why I'm kind of like, you know, running around clinging the sounding the horns and knocking on doors and windows and the drum beating. Do you have your stuff in order? And when they say, um, that means no. That means no. And I said, well, you know, because when I was working for the court and we would do different things in the community, let's say we had a, one of the malls had like a, you know, talk to Lawyers day, and we had a little table set up. And when people came by, you know, we have some little freebies to draw you to come over to the table. Yeah, but I was talking and this one young girl came up. She had two the cutest kids, and her mother was with her. And I said, you know, do you have your will done? And she said, um, okay.

Sharon Boykin [00:16:51]:
I said, that means no. And I said, if something happened to you, what's going to happen to your children? And her comment to me was, well, my mother will step in and take care of the kids. Her mother said, oh, no, no, no.

Chi Quita Mack [00:17:05]:
Oh, no, I won't.

Sharon Boykin [00:17:06]:
No, I took care of my kids. So we do a lot of assuming. I didn't ask about the father, but still. And even when husband and wife, what if you all in the car together and there's an accident and you both die and you have minor children at home? So again, it's just something to put in place in case you don't need it. But we do need it at some point. Don't tell me if your children are young and minors, but you know who you trust. If something happened to you and your children are minors or you have a special needs child, who do you trust to take care of your kids and not be in it for the money, but in it to really take care of your kids the way you want them to be taken care of? So I just kind of, you know, tossed it out. And they say, oh, I never thought about it.

Sharon Boykin [00:17:58]:
I said, yeah, but you need to, because I'm sure we all have a family member who's only looking out for the money they think you have, right? If you don't have your stuff in order, they run to the court, ask the judge, can they be in charge? And there's a hearing. And, you know, I tell you, they have that one Denzel tear come down their cheek like they're concerned about, you know, taking care of your family and your children. And, you know, that that's the last person you want to be in charge of taking care of your kids. The most precious items are your children. But if you don't state who you trust, if something happens, you know, you're going to be surprised. Well, you may not even be around, but the people that you do not want to come forward are going to be the main ones because they get paid out of your estate to do that job. And I will tell you, I saw some of the ugliest fights, and it's sad.

Chi Quita Mack [00:18:57]:
Yeah.

Sharon Boykin [00:18:59]:
So again, that has just become one of my, even though I've done other things in my legal career, that one has been, you know, taken on a personal meaning as well as when I saw those statistics, I said, wow, this fits everybody, rich, poor, what have you. Everybody's going to have that second date. And we all have stuff. It's not about the value. If somebody's looking at your stuff right now, wanting it, wanting it. Clothes, jewelry, something, they want it. And if you're a member of a sorority or fraternity organization, you have documents and paraphernalia you don't want just anybody to get it, or you don't want to, you know, ride by and see some homeless person with this sorority shirt on because the family didn't know that it needed to go to another sorority member. They just threw it away or gave it away.

Sharon Boykin [00:19:57]:
So it's just causing people to take a look back at what they have and make some personal decisions, because if you don't, the state where you live has a process that you don't know what it's all about and how ugly it is. Where even in Georgia, we have. If you don't have anything, we have to file a notice in the newspaper that runs for four consecutive weeks to alert the world that you died without a will, if you an heir or you have a claim against this person's estate, because. And that this person is filing actions, wanting to be, you know, the administrator over the estate. Here's the deadline to file your actions, your answers to the court, so that we can resolve it with, you know, the world.

Chi Quita Mack [00:20:47]:
Yeah.

Sharon Boykin [00:20:49]:
If you're a private person and you don't want everybody to find out about your stuff, you need to put some stuff in writing.

Chi Quita Mack [00:20:56]:
Absolutely. I agree. And I love that. I love this is what you do because it is something that is so important and we work so hard. Especially I can talk for myself and my family. I am the first to do a lot. First one to own a house, first one to do all of this stuff. And so it's like creating that so that it continues to grow in the family, and it's so important to put it in writing.

Chi Quita Mack [00:21:17]:
So y'all put it in writing. Like, don't be afraid. And I was afraid to, like, even I don't think about this. I was like, I don't think about this. Oh, my God. But it's so important that we do have these things in order because you just never know what might happen with the african american community, though. I mean, I know that stats is for everyone, but why do you think it's. It's so hard for our community to have their things in order?

Sharon Boykin [00:21:41]:
Well, you know, it comes down to some of these myths. Like I said, one of them is, well, if I do it well, I'm telling God I'm ready to go. Yeah, right. Or I don't really have anything worth fighting over. Yes, you do.

Chi Quita Mack [00:21:56]:
Okay.

Sharon Boykin [00:21:57]:
Or it costs too much money to see a lawyer to get my stuff in order. You could actually do your own will yourself if you know what the law in your state requires. Here in Georgia, you get your wheel drafted, you can go on Google or wherever, print it out. You need two disinterested witnesses. And disinterested means, let's say, miss Mac, you leave me your car. I can't be one of your witnesses because I am interested. Okay, you've named me in the wheel. I'm getting something from your wheel.

Sharon Boykin [00:22:35]:
So I should not be one of the witnesses to your will that saw you sign it. Okay, so disinterested means in Georgia, you need two disinterested witnesses along with the person whose will it is to sign off on this will. Now, in Georgia and some of the other states, too, you can have those signatures notarized. I encourage people to get the signatures notarized because in Georgia, it's called now a self proving wheel. Because we don't need now any testimonies from any of your witnesses to say, were you present when Sharon signed her will? Does she know what she was doing? If this hurt, you saw her sign, that's her signature. This is yours. If it's not notarized, then the court needs to hear from one of, at least one of your witnesses about that moment when everybody signed. But what would happen if your witnesses died before you did?

Chi Quita Mack [00:23:37]:
Oh, true.

Sharon Boykin [00:23:39]:
Now there's no one to testify about that date and time that everybody signed off on the wheel. If it's notarized, we don't need any testimony. We call that self proven because it's notarized. And we're trusting that the process that the notary used was the legal process. You know, we see that notary stamp, so we're going to take that this wheel is. And the signatures and everything was done at the appropriate process in front of everybody. And the notary saw everybody sign. The notary got her his or her stamp on there and their signature.

Sharon Boykin [00:24:14]:
So the court is going to say this wheel now is self proven. We don't need any testimony from any of the witnesses. Yeah, but like I said, it's just this topic. Nobody wants to talk about death. But then here we are saying that we're christians or that we're religious. Well, one of the things in the Bible says, leave an inheritance for your children's children, your grandkids. How do you leave something for your grandkids if it's not put in writing? We can't take all this stuff with us. Yeah, you may have a necklace or some rings on.

Sharon Boykin [00:24:51]:
Hopefully that, you know, when the funeral isn't over, somebody then go and take it off.

Chi Quita Mack [00:24:57]:
You just never know.

Sharon Boykin [00:24:58]:
You never know. But we have things that are important and I think, like you said, you're one of the first ones in your family to do a lot of things. You want to leave a legacy. You may want to leave something to a nonprofit or to your church or to a family member. But again, if you spent your lifetime acquiring things, why not you make the decision of who gets it when you transition? I think it's just something. It's just a topic we don't want to think about, although we know we have a date. We just don't want to even. Oh, I don't want to think about it.

Sharon Boykin [00:25:35]:
Yeah. But when they talk about it, costume actually cost more money when you don't do it. Like I said, filing that notice in the newspaper has a cost.

Chi Quita Mack [00:25:44]:
Yeah.

Sharon Boykin [00:25:45]:
Having that trial, with everybody coming forward, fighting has a cost.

Chi Quita Mack [00:25:50]:
A cost, yeah.

Sharon Boykin [00:25:52]:
And. But if you had your stuff in order and nobody's contesting your will. Yes. That's. That's the wheel. That's what she said she wanted to have happen. Okay. Now, you have named how you want your stuff split up.

Sharon Boykin [00:26:07]:
So it's a much easier process. And I'm going to give you one more example. When I was a younger attorney, I had a lady to come and see me. She was 85 years old. She brought me ten sheets of notebook paper where she wrote out everything she owned and who she wanted to leave it to. She just wanted me to put it in proper legal order. But when I say everything she had, sheets, towels, dishes, what color they were, what they looked like, hats, pocketbooks, shoes, jewelry, furniture. I mean, this lady was 85 years old, okay? And her comment to me said, now, baby, please don't laugh at me.

Sharon Boykin [00:27:00]:
I just have had too much ugly fighting in the family when other people died without having a will. I don't want no mess when it's my time.

Chi Quita Mack [00:27:11]:
Yes, ma'am.

Sharon Boykin [00:27:12]:
So I said, ma'am, I'm not laughing. I said, you probably. To this day, she's probably one of the smartest clients I have had to even think about. An 85 year old woman wrote out everything she owned and who she wanted it to go to. Brought those sheets to me. We completed and did her will. When she came back to sign it and notarized and everything in the office, she had the biggest smile on her face. Cause she said, you know, now I can go and enjoy the rest of my life.

Chi Quita Mack [00:27:42]:
I love it.

Sharon Boykin [00:27:43]:
Knowing that when my time comes, it ain't gonna be no mess.

Chi Quita Mack [00:27:48]:
Yes.

Sharon Boykin [00:27:50]:
And she had the biggest smile on her face when she left with her, you know, her will, documents and stuff. And I said, that's the key. Once you've gone through those processes with other family members, that's a wake up call to get your stuff done. So that, again, we don't know that second date, but you can now enjoy, because, you know, when the time comes, it ain't gonna be no mess.

Chi Quita Mack [00:28:17]:
No mess.

Sharon Boykin [00:28:18]:
And I'm telling you, she had those ten. When I tell people that story, said she had, you know, what, color towels, dishes.

Chi Quita Mack [00:28:26]:
She was playing around.

Sharon Boykin [00:28:29]:
It's like, you can't go say, I said, you could have my blue sheets with the flowers.

Chi Quita Mack [00:28:35]:
That goes to this person.

Sharon Boykin [00:28:37]:
Right? So she's already decided who's getting what, and perhaps someone at 85 years old to do that. That lets us know that we all need to do that, because I'm sure you've heard just in the news, some of the people that we've heard about that have money, who have fought because they did not have a will. Prince didn't have a wheel. James Brown, Marvin Gaye, Tupac. Chadwick Boseman, the guy that played Black Panther. Now, his situation was real. How I know about all these things? Because when you don't have a will and you have to go in the newspaper, we find out about the fighting. So here's Chadwick Boseman.

Sharon Boykin [00:29:23]:
You know, he got diagnosed with cancer four years before he passed away. He was still doing movies, had a girlfriend that he had been dating for a while, and she would always be on set, you know, looking after him, because everybody didn't know how bad his health was. And they got married kind of close to his death. He didn't have any children, but he did have a mom and dad. Mom and dad filed legal actions challenging the marriage. Their thing is, well, if Chadwick didn't know what he was doing, he went in his right mind, and the marriage is not valid, which means there's no wife, no children. Mom and dad get the pot of gold.

Chi Quita Mack [00:30:07]:
Yeah.

Sharon Boykin [00:30:08]:
Why he didn't have a will or an estate plan, I don't know, but he's not the only one. I mean, it's just because, you know, we know who he is. And it was publicized in the media that we found out about the fighting, and they spent, the wife and the parents spent about 150,000 just in legal fees fighting over that one issue. Then they eventually just decided to split it 50 50.

Chi Quita Mack [00:30:36]:
Wow.

Sharon Boykin [00:30:38]:
So you just don't know how bad things can be when you don't put your stuff in order. It's your stuff versus you not doing anything and letting people fight over it. Because I'm sure chat would, would not have wanted that kind of a scenario to come forth. But again, if you don't do something, your state is going to control how and who is going to get your stuff.

Chi Quita Mack [00:31:07]:
Absolutely. Absolutely. You guys, listen, get your stuff in order, please. Like you just got so many gems dropped on you today, especially if you're in the state of Georgia. I'm just telling you, put it in writing and take the time to do it. Have the difficult conversations because it will definitely save some time and fighting in the long run.

Sharon Boykin [00:31:30]:
Absolutely.

Chi Quita Mack [00:31:32]:
Thank you so much for sharing that.

Sharon Boykin [00:31:34]:
And let me just say this. Even if you're in a different state, you can still contact me because I'm a member of many bar associations here in Georgia. I can find some referrals of some lawyers in your city and state where you are. I just want you to take, stop procrastinating on this issue and get your stuff in order.

Chi Quita Mack [00:31:53]:
Absolutely. Can you tell everyone where they can get a copy of your book?

Sharon Boykin [00:31:57]:
Well, I have a free book that I would love to share with your fans and your audience. If they go to www.helpmegetmystuffinorder.com, i have a free ebook. And then they can also get in contact with me at that same website and I would love to connect with them. But like I said, it's become a passion of me just to talk about it because I know how it feels going through all those deaths we had in our family and then again a few months later. Now I'm looking at it from a course perspective every day. You know the number one statement I used to hear when I was working in court, Miss Mac, was. I didn't know that's what the law required.

Chi Quita Mack [00:32:45]:
Yep.

Sharon Boykin [00:32:46]:
Well, just because you didn't know doesn't.

Chi Quita Mack [00:32:49]:
Mean it's not a thing.

Sharon Boykin [00:32:52]:
Or they think because daddy lived with me and I have other siblings, but I'm the oldest child. I'm in charge. No. And there was one situation. When you talk to lawyers, we can go on and on and on. I know you. Let me give you this one little story, because I was, you know, when I was working for the court, I was actually sitting in the front where the clerks work when people come in through the door needing help. So I was there one morning and this lady came in.

Sharon Boykin [00:33:22]:
I said, oh, I can understand the expression on her face. It's going to be an interesting discussion she had. Her dad lived with her. She was the oldest of five siblings. Dad had died maybe a week ago. And at first she went to the bank to see if she can get access to dad's money in his account to help pay for the funeral. But again, if your name is not on the account or there's a form at your bank called pay on death where you can leave your account to someone. So dad didn't have her name on the account as a joint owner and didn't have that form filled out, leaving her the bank account.

Sharon Boykin [00:34:03]:
But because the bank knew she was going to show out, they said, oh, no, no, no. Go to probate court, get an order from the judge giving you access to the money, come back and we'll give you the access to the money. And so we can do all that in one day. Okay. They just want to get her out the bank, right? So she left the bank, headed to probate court, came in, and I can tell by the expression on her face it was going to be an interesting discussion. So I kind of took over from the clerks. I said, and how can we help you? She kept telling me the story that she just left the bank and she needs to get an order from the court. And I said, well, did your dad have a will? No, he did not.

Sharon Boykin [00:34:40]:
Was he married? No. Her mother had died 20 years ago, so didn't have a legal spouse, just dad living with her. I said, now, how many other brothers and sisters? Well, it's five of us. I'm the oldest. I said, okay. Are you asking the court to name you as the administrator over your dad's affairs? Yes. So I gave her the packet that she needs to fill out and the cost, as well as that notice that we would have to put in the newspaper. And if she looked at me like, you know, I said, well, are your siblings going to agree that you're the person in charge, or are they going to ask the court name them to be in charge of your dad's affairs? Well, I don't know.

Sharon Boykin [00:35:28]:
So that means it's going to be a hearing.

Chi Quita Mack [00:35:31]:
Here we go.

Sharon Boykin [00:35:32]:
Here we go. But then she told me the strangest thing. She said that her son had her dad's ATM Cardinal. And every day since the dad had died, going to the ATM, withdrawing the max amount out of the account.

Chi Quita Mack [00:35:49]:
Oh, no.

Sharon Boykin [00:35:51]:
I told her, I said, you know, your son getting ready to go to jail, she, like, you know, eyes get big. What do you mean? I said, he's stealing. If your dad died a week ago and we see every date since, his death was 350, whatever the max that you can withdraw out of that account every day, out of his account every day, we know someone is stealing his money, and probably he was getting it for the mother, but, you know, she didn't say that part right. You need to get that car, cut it up, or put that money back, because, you know, you're stealing from your dad's estate. So, again, people would talk themselves into doing things that they think makes sense, and they have no clue what's required and what the process is. And then I asked her, I said, okay, your dad didn't have a will. Do you have one? And her thing was, um, no.

Chi Quita Mack [00:36:46]:
That means no.

Sharon Boykin [00:36:49]:
That means no. So, you know, I said, okay. You know, as a. As a family member, that's also another thing to tell you. I need to get my personal stuff in order. You have children. But that's the thing. It's like, we think we know.

Sharon Boykin [00:37:06]:
We don't know. And, no, it's a personal issue. But the fights that come from the children and the things that you think, you know. Let me leave you with one last thing. So, again, you know, we lawyers can talk on it. One other little key, because I want people to know, oh, I need to get my stuff in order.

Chi Quita Mack [00:37:26]:
Yes.

Sharon Boykin [00:37:27]:
So in Georgia, let's say husband and wife have a house and they have children. Let's say he had children from a previous marriage. They have children together. Husband and wife's name is on the deed to the house. Husband dies, no will. Who owns the house?

Chi Quita Mack [00:37:49]:
The what?

Sharon Boykin [00:37:55]:
Here's the thing. In Georgia, the deed to the house must state husband and wife with rights of survivorship. Oh, if that. With rights of survivorship language is not there, each person just owns 50% of the house. So if the husband dies, let's say the language is there says husband and wife with rights of survivorship. The first one that dies, the survivor now owns the whole house. 100%. Okay, if that language is not there, they just each own 50% of the house.

Sharon Boykin [00:38:36]:
So if the husband died first, no will. Who are the husband's heirs? The wife, hopefully she's a legal spouse, not just shacking up, not part two. Gotta be legal. The legal wife is an heir, but all of the children are heirs. So now Georgia is going to split up his 50% among his heirs. If it's just one child and one wife, they're going to split his 50% in half. 50 50. If it's one wife and two kids, they'll be split up one third.

Sharon Boykin [00:39:17]:
One third. One third. If it's more than two kids, the wife gets no less than one third. And all of the kids now will be splitting up the two thirds percentage, but depending on how many kids, it could be 5678, 910 people, depending on the number of children on a certain percentage of the house. You talking about a mess, right? Can you even see your brain? It's like, oh, that's gonna be great.

Chi Quita Mack [00:39:46]:
Think about it. Go like crazy. Because you're thinking like, no, I'm the wife.

Sharon Boykin [00:39:49]:
I got it.

Chi Quita Mack [00:39:50]:
And they're like, not. Not really. You know, if it's not done properly.

Sharon Boykin [00:39:54]:
Right?

Chi Quita Mack [00:39:55]:
And here we go with the mess and the arguing and the fighting. Oh, my goodness.

Sharon Boykin [00:40:00]:
So, you know, people say, well, I don't know if that language is in my deed. I said, we need to go to the courthouse and get a copy of your deed to see if it's there. If it's not there, you can add it, get it added to the deed, or do a wheel that states if the husband's will says, if I die first, my 50% of the house goes to the wife.

Chi Quita Mack [00:40:19]:
Yeah.

Sharon Boykin [00:40:20]:
You know, so you've already determined who's getting your 50% versus you, assuming, you know, and then you find out, oh, I didn't know that. And it's getting ready, and I've sat in on some of those trials, and it was some of the ugliest fighting.

Chi Quita Mack [00:40:39]:
Oh, my God.

Sharon Boykin [00:40:41]:
Because you end up now with, he had three or four kids, and then one child come out the closet everybody didn't know about. You got to do a DNA test, determine, is this an heir? That's the thing. It's like, get your stuff in order, please, everybody. I mean, everybody has some unique situation going on, but get your stuff in order so you can keep people out your business, you make some decisions, and you've decided what you want to do with the stuff God has allowed you to acquire throughout your lifetime and leave a legacy to people that you love, to your church, to nonprofits, to your family, to your kids, to your spouse, to whomever. But you get to decide versus it becoming a big mess in court.

Chi Quita Mack [00:41:33]:
Absolutely. Thank you so much for being a part of the beauty and you podcast and just sharing all that information. I mean, you guys rewind it, write it down. All the information is going to be linked in the show notes. I mean, this is awesome. I want to thank you so much for being here today.

Sharon Boykin [00:41:54]:
Well, I'm going to be sending you not only the help me get my stuff in order book, but that one, the managing my eights.

Chi Quita Mack [00:42:00]:
Yes.

Sharon Boykin [00:42:01]:
And I would, you know, maybe you may want to do a podcast show on people. We need to write books, too, because we've gone through so much that we've learned, like I said earlier, our excellence level is real high. Yes. We've learned a lot of things that, you know, you're the only one in the room, or very few of us are in the room. You get in the room and it's 10,000 people and five black people.

Chi Quita Mack [00:42:25]:
We're like, wait a minute, wait a minute.

Sharon Boykin [00:42:28]:
All right.

Chi Quita Mack [00:42:28]:
This is what we're doing.

Sharon Boykin [00:42:30]:
So we've learned things that can help those coming behind us, the younger generation, that they can now not have to make a lot of mistakes because they're following now a path that gets them help. So I always kind of encourage people to get your stuff in order. And now let's talk about writing that book about what you've done to help somebody. You know, we've gone through the test now. You got a testimony.

Chi Quita Mack [00:42:53]:
Yep. Tell your story.

Sharon Boykin [00:42:55]:
Tell your story. Help someone. And it gives you some more money coming in the door, too.

Jacqueline G. [00:43:02]:
Yes.

Chi Quita Mack [00:43:03]:
Y'all know I'm all about telling your story. I'm big on it. Like, tell your story. You can inspire someone. And as long as you're inspiring one person, you've done your job. So, yes, please share your story, get your stuff in order, and. All right, you guys, thank you for another great show. And until next time, thank you for.

Jacqueline G. [00:43:22]:
Joining us on this week's episode of the Beauty in you podcast. Don't forget to to rate, review and subscribe, visit us@thechiquitamack.com or join us on Instagram at thechiquitamac for your daily motivation and inspiration. Tell a friend to tell a friend. Until next time.