Women in STEM: Building Confidence and Breaking Barriers with Aynsley Szczesniak

Welcome back to "The Beauty in You," the podcast where we uncover the inner strengths and stories that empower women to reach their full potential.

In today's episode, our dynamic host, Chi Quita Mack and Aynsley Szczesniak, dive into a compelling conversation about overcoming imposter syndrome, embracing leadership challenges, and the essential role of a supportive network.

Chi Quita shares her journey as a black female in the military, constantly proving herself and pushing through barriers, while Aynsley reflects on facing gender bias and learning to delegate and trust her team as a CEO.

Together, they discuss the importance of mentorship, creating spaces for women to speak up, and the value of saying "yes" to opportunities even when doubt creeps in. Join us as we explore these vital lessons, hear personal stories of resilience, and find inspiration to continue growing and empowering others.

Stay tuned as our special guest, Jacqueline G., encourages you to rate, review, and subscribe to keep supporting this empowering journey.

Let's get started!

To connect with Aynsley Szczesniak:
Aynsley Szczesniak | LinkedIn
Speak Out Sisterhood

To work with Chi Quita Mack: Take Back Your Life 1-on-1 Coaching — Life Coach - The ChiQuita Mack
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https://www.thechiquitamack.com/shop-tcm/p/the-beauty-in-you-a-guide-created-to-help-you-discover-the-best-version-of-you
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Transcript

Jacqueline G. [00:00:01]:
Welcome to the Beauty in you podcast, a safe place created for all women to come relax, get inspired, and be constantly reminded that they have not lost the ability to be who they once were. Join us as we dive into the true meaning of rediscovery through inspiring guests and topics such as healing, self love, and creating a positive mindset. So sit back, relax, and get comfortable as we dive into this week's episode. Here is your host, Chiquita Mack.

Chi Quita Mack [00:00:30]:
Hey, y'all, welcome back to another episode of the Beauty and you podcast. I am so excited because, as you know, we talk about empowering women and empowering our young generations. And let me tell you, this guest today is definitely going to leave you inspired and ready to take on the world. Our guest is a rising sophomore at UNC Chapel Hill and the CEO founder of Speak Out Sisterhood, majoring in biology and mathematics. She is committed to women's Health, which is evident through her involvement with the operations team of UNC Student Health Action committee, a student run free clinic for the underserved families. She is distinguished by her proactive and energetic leadership, and she envisions a better future and takes decisive actions to create it. Welcome to the beauty in you podcast, Ainsley Stasniak. How are you, mama?

Aynsley Szczesniak [00:01:25]:
I'm doing great. Thank you so much for having me today. I'm really, really excited for this conversation.

Chi Quita Mack [00:01:30]:
I'm excited too, because you're such an inspiration. You out here changing the world, you changing the game, girl.

Aynsley Szczesniak [00:01:35]:
Thank you. That's my goal.

Chi Quita Mack [00:01:38]:
You're definitely on your way. So when I normally start this podcast, I'm like, hey, you guys, tell me about your rediscovery journey. But for you, I want to start out a little bit different and I want you to walk me through your first year, your first freshman year of college, and how you decided it was time to change the world.

Aynsley Szczesniak [00:02:00]:
Oh, my goodness gracious. Well, if you want to be here all day. But I mean, wow. My first year of college was just crazy. I think a little bit more tumultuous than most. But I think that when I look back on my journey, I always think about the people that I met and the people that I had the opportunity to work with and connect with, and those are the people who got me to where I am today. So I'd been interested in women apartment for a long time. I started a club in high school for girls in STEM, and I started getting involved with the association for Women in Science North Carolina chapter around the end of my senior year coming into summer.

Aynsley Szczesniak [00:02:42]:
And so that was when I started to realize that this passion for seeing other women like myself, who are interested in STEM, seeing us thrive, could be more than just something that happens every now and then. It could be something that I could actually devote my career and my life to. So I really started getting involved with Avis, North Carolina and exploring the opportunities that there were for mentors. I created a mentorship program for them, and I created a speaker series. And through my interactions with different women scientists, I started to get a deeper understanding that what I'd already had inklings of which was STEM is not made for women. And there are so many challenges that are not discussed enough that women don't have the courage or the safe space to talk about that. We go through our lives just kind of being like, oh, you know, we should get more girls into STEm. But we don't think about what are they going to do when they encounter these inevitable challenges.

Aynsley Szczesniak [00:03:41]:
We don't prepare them for that. So essentially, my vision started shifting from how can we get girls interested in STEM? To how can we empower young women to succeed in STEM? That focus not so much on the interest, but the sustained effort to continue to pursue leadership and continue to excel. So from there, from that new kind of way of looking at it, I decided that I wanted to start to blaze my own path because I didn't really see anywhere that was focused so much on empowering young women to have those skills and those strengths to succeed. So I ultimately, I would say the most pivotal moment of my journey. And I always tell people when I write my memoir about my life, I'm going to devote entire chapters this one conference, because it literally, it changed my life. It was October 2023. I had been invited to go to this conference in Denver that was hosted by an organization that I'm part of, club million women mentors. And so I've been invited to go as a North Carolina representative.

Aynsley Szczesniak [00:04:43]:
And it was some innovation forum. And I came into that conference not knowing what to expect. I came out of it, my world, like, completely changed. I met so many incredible people there who were so dedicated to advancing diversity, equity, inclusion and stem. And what really kind of stuck with me is the fact that they were so enthusiastic about the fact that I was there as a young person, also engaged in this work and the fact that I didn't really see many other young people in that space, but I saw how much they valued and celebrated me being there. It made me realize, like, we need more young people in these spaces. We need to get more young women on the forefront of diversity, equity, inclusion and STEM and advances in that area. So I told you this was long winded, you're fine.

Aynsley Szczesniak [00:05:31]:
But I ultimately, from that conference, that was the first step toward building what ended up becoming speak out sisterhood. We're now a global network connecting young women across the world, and this work of redefining what it means to be blazing trails in STEM and diversity, equity, inclusion. In particular, we run an internship program called generation yes, which really stems from my personal belief in the power of independent project work and taking substantial action, where we pair up our interns in teams of four and they really do a deep investigation of a specific topic that we know is an issue for women in STEM. So, for instance, one of our teams was working with the Science Policy Action Network to investigate the gender pay gap and financial barriers for women's success. Because, of course, that's something that's huge, but just doesn't get. We don't have enough information about, we don't talk about it enough. So our goal with that was just kind of to elucidate some of these areas of confusion. I mean, what really are the barriers and how can we fix them? And so we actually just finished our first iteration of the program that went great.

Aynsley Szczesniak [00:06:36]:
And now we're kind of transitioning into the implementation side of now we have these action plans. What are we going to do? How can we actually make these ideas become reality? So it's definitely a confusing but exciting time. And I just have so many ideas for what I want to do next, so many visions for the future. It's a little hard to like, remind myself, like Ainsley, you got to focus.

Chi Quita Mack [00:06:58]:
On one thing one at a time, one at a time.

Aynsley Szczesniak [00:07:01]:
Because like, what you see is, you know, with one thing at a time, it ultimately accumulates to something just fabulous.

Chi Quita Mack [00:07:06]:
But the fact is that you're doing it and I think that's what's so important. You are the representation, you are that young person in the room that we need because we don't often teach how to necessarily use our voices all the time. Like, that's something that in my adult, adult life, I just started to do, like one finding my voice and then utilizing my voice. But now I'm teaching my daughter to use your voice like you're eleven, use your voice. And I want that empowerment for her. I want her to see a problem and to speak up about it and they don't teach us how to do that. So the fact that you came in like, you know, yeah, everybody was happy for me. To be there.

Chi Quita Mack [00:07:44]:
I was representing for them. But now you're going to teach them how to use their voice also. So you are that staple. We need that. We need you in the room. We need you there to continue doing what you're doing because you are definitely changing the world. I mean, freshman year, coming in, coming out and coming into something like this and making such an impact is huge. So I hope you are definitely enjoying the moment and, like, congratulating yourself along the way because even though there's so many other things on your list, like, you're doing it, so hope you're celebrating yourself, enjoying that.

Chi Quita Mack [00:08:16]:
Thank you.

Aynsley Szczesniak [00:08:17]:
I appreciate that. Okay. A lot of people do. Tell me, like, you need to take a break every now and then, Ainsley and I do. I think when you're ambitious, when you have big dreams, you know, every. This is kind of taking us from a quote that I, somebody else told me, but, like, when you're ambitious, every moment feels like you could keep doing more and more and more. Like, you have so many ideas and just kind of spilling out. And it is a little bit hard to kind of take a step back and kind of look at what you've done and be grateful for that.

Aynsley Szczesniak [00:08:44]:
But at the same time, it is very therapeutic when you do because you realize, like, yes, there's so much more that I want to do, but at the same time, I've already done so much and I need to, like. And those things have gotten me to this point. Like, these aren't just things that I can just toss aside and be like, oh, that was whatever. Like, these are things that are. Have been crucial to my journey and they've taught me things and they've gotten me here. Like, when I think about my journey to the point where I started speak of sisterhood and even beyond that, everything, it was just little steps over and over and over. Little coincidences and happenstances and opportunities because of the way that I was react to them and took advantage of them, brought me to this point. And it's just so beautiful to look back and think about that.

Chi Quita Mack [00:09:22]:
Yeah, it's. It's amazing. Like, I take advantage of every opportunity. What is it? What do you need me to do? I got you. Don't worry about it. I'll be there. I'll get it done. I do the same thing.

Chi Quita Mack [00:09:34]:
I go really, really, really fast because there's so much that I want to change with empowering women and rediscovering ourselves and enjoying what we've accomplished, but continue to get better and. But I do have to take those times to, like, really reflect, because I get tired, too.

Aynsley Szczesniak [00:09:52]:
Burnout is real.

Chi Quita Mack [00:09:53]:
Yeah. And I want to go really, really fast, and sometimes I have to slow down. Kita, slow down. I'm like, okay, guys, I'm slowing down. I am. I promise. So it's definitely a push and a pull, for sure. Who is your inspiration?

Aynsley Szczesniak [00:10:06]:
Well, as I said, I. When I think about my journey, I think about the people that I had the pleasure of getting to know and meet. And I feel like I have multiple people who are inspirations to me just from the different things that they've taught me. One person in particular who I will always credit as being the person who inspired me to go on this journey is Doctor Lisa Hinkleman. She is the founder and CEO of an organization called ruling our experiences. They do incredible work. They do research, basically, on girls, on the state of girls in the United States, and the girls confidence and girls body image and self esteem. And all the things that we have known for a while have been issues, but we have never gotten, like, quantifiable data about.

Aynsley Szczesniak [00:10:50]:
And as a math person, I'm like, yes, let's get the data. And it's deplorable. The data is terrible, but. But it's so important that they are doing that work to. To break down these. These barriers. And, you know, she gave the keynote on the second day of the conference that changed my life. And this keynote was fantastic because it was all about how girls confidence is dropping.

Aynsley Szczesniak [00:11:12]:
And, like, for instance, 57% of girls don't believe they're smart enough for their dream career. I think it's 57%. It's either that or 55%. And girls confidence has dropped by, like, 20% in the past five years. And it's just, you see that, and it reminds you of. There is so much more than just interest in StEM that comes into play when we think about the advancement of women through these STEM careers in particular, confidence is a huge factor. And so she is my inspiration because she's not afraid to be the one breaking that news and telling people and saying, hey, you know, we got to do something about this. And she's told me, like, there have definitely been conversations that she's spoken at where the audience has been very unreceptive of her message, but she clearly is undeterred by that.

Aynsley Szczesniak [00:12:00]:
And I can only hope to be as courageous and as determined as she is. So she's definitely one of my inspirations. Someone else is. My inspiration is my friend Keegan. I met her. She actually lived on my floor this year, and we met just by, like, happenstance. But she has, like, if you picture a heart made of absolutely pure gold, that is her heart. Like, her heart is so golden.

Aynsley Szczesniak [00:12:26]:
She is so kind and caring and selfless. And she's really taught me a lot about how to be that kind of person. And she inspires me to be as selfless and kind as she is. And I've always been really, really passionate about empowering others and being around her. She just emits this kind of, like, aura of positivity that just keeps me going as well. So I definitely credit her to being an inspiration as well, of the kind of person that I want to be and the kind of effect I want to leave on others is being someone who threatens the day of everybody that I talk to. So those are definitely two people. I have so many more people that I can think of, just so many more incredible women.

Aynsley Szczesniak [00:13:05]:
I can't even begin to name them all, but those are definitely two that stick out just because of how I aspire to be the kind of person that they are and emulate the same kind of characteristics.

Chi Quita Mack [00:13:19]:
I love it. I love it. Your circle is going to be so important as you continue on your journey to success. And so the fact that you're already establishing those main people in your circle is so good. It's so good. It's so good to have that community that you can lean on and someone that you can absolutely trust when you sometimes just don't feel like it or you're super exhausted and you just need that little bit of push. So it's so good that you've already come into, like, you know, having those that inspire you and keep you going and that you're like, I really want to be like them. And they give you little tips here and.

Chi Quita Mack [00:13:54]:
Or you can just be themselves. Just be like, I guess I just need a break, you know, I just need to get my life back together.

Aynsley Szczesniak [00:14:01]:
Right. So I completely agree.

Chi Quita Mack [00:14:03]:
Yeah. So I'm very happy that you have that now because I have. I have one, too. But again, it took me a little bit to, like, understand the importance of where I'm going and to understand the importance of my environment. So not everybody can come with you on your journey when you're heading to success. So that's important.

Aynsley Szczesniak [00:14:24]:
Exactly. I think something else that I've learned, too is that different people play different roles in your circle. Like, not everybody's going to be the one that you go to sobbing when something bad happens, but that doesn't mean that they're not an integral part of their circle. It just means that they have a different role they play. And that's been something interesting that I've kind of figured out. And it really kind of like when you think about the different roles that people play in your. In your circle, like, there are the people who are the mentors who provide you that important information that you wouldn't have been able to figure out on your own. They're the people who are the shoulders that you cry on.

Aynsley Szczesniak [00:14:56]:
They're the people that maybe you only see every now and then, but when you do, you know, they leave you feeling so grateful for everything that you have and grateful for them. And it's just I've always been someone who really values the people that I'm around and really has been so grateful for the people that I'm. That I'm with. And it's been really interesting, especially coming to college and getting to meet so many people, kind of figuring out through experience and time, like, who are the people that I truly care about and who truly care about me and what kind of role do they play in my life and do I think they're going to play in my life? And being able to kind of go through life and making these organic relationships is just so, such a beautiful thing. Especially, again, going back to what we're talking about before, looking back and seeing how things came to be where they are, you know, the people that I met, like, by happenstance in my college orientation, maybe now as, like, one of my closest friends kind of thing or somebody I just happened to connect with on LinkedIn is now like a mentor, and it just. It really makes you grateful for the opportunities in the life that you've been able to live.

Chi Quita Mack [00:16:04]:
Absolutely. Connections, so important. So important. I want to talk about imposter syndrome.

Aynsley Szczesniak [00:16:15]:
Like, so big, or I can go into that all day.

Chi Quita Mack [00:16:18]:
So is this something that you've experienced and.

Aynsley Szczesniak [00:16:23]:
Absolutely.

Chi Quita Mack [00:16:23]:
And what is your advice to someone else that may be going through the same thing or has gone through the same thing? And I'll tell you my story after. Okay.

Aynsley Szczesniak [00:16:34]:
All right. Well, I love this question because it's. Oh, my gosh. See, I. I mean, I used to talk a lot about imposter syndrome, being in this field of women and stem empowerment, but I never really liked, truly felt it until the first time that I ever presented at a conference. It was February of this year, actually. I presented about speak out sisterhood and our work at the science for all summit at more Hicks Planetarium. They were hosting it.

Aynsley Szczesniak [00:17:04]:
It was their second year, I think, doing it, and we were lucky enough to be selected as one of those sessions. And so I was so excited because I knew all the team there, they're so great. And I was so excited for the conference in general. Got to the day up, presented the. I was, oh, and then this was already my conference. My conference was already kind of, like, wavering because we couldn't get the presentation to get up, like, right before the. Our session was supposed to be. So I was just sitting there having, like, I was just freaking out, going through, trying to get.

Aynsley Szczesniak [00:17:33]:
Trying to get my presentation to, like, project on the. On this thing. So I was already, like, nerve straddled. I practiced this over and over before. And so we got through the presentation. I thought it went pretty well. And then at the end, we got a question.

Chi Quita Mack [00:17:46]:
We got.

Aynsley Szczesniak [00:17:47]:
We did Q and a. And so that was the part I was dreading, because I was like, what if they asked me a question I don't know how to answer? And so somebody asked a question about our use of the word girl, because we were talking about a lot of statistics about, like, you know, girls and stem. 57% of girls think this. And so the question was kind of, like, basically, at least the way I thought she was asking, it was like, you know, why are you using the word girl when you yourself are saying that? Like, these words can kind of be diminishing for young women? And so I had no idea what to say. I was just. My mind just froze, and I stuttered out some semblance of an answer. And so then later, kind of through the conversation, we kind of figured out, oh, that wasn't exactly what she was asking. And so we ended up getting a good conversation out of that.

Aynsley Szczesniak [00:18:32]:
But for, like, pretty much the rest of the conference afterward, I just was like, the imposter syndrome slammed into me. I was like, did they like it? Did they like it? Why were there, like, were there more people? Like, like, why did they ask that question? Like, did I say something wrong? What happened? Just all the questions in my head we're worrying about, was it good enough? Like, did they like it? Did anybody think it was important? Like, did they just. All the questions, you know, that just consume your mind even in the moment? I was like, I know I am experiencing imposter syndrome right now, but at the same time, I feel like an imposter. I feel like I did something wrong, and it just took some time, some letting myself feel those feelings and validating those feelings was helpful because something I've always kind of disliked about the word imposter syndrome. The phrase is that it makes it seem like it's a problem to be in situations where you feel uncomfortable and you don't feel like you're, you're part of it. Like, you know what? Everything. Because you have to be in those situations that challenge you and make you feel uncomfortable in order to grow. And so that's what I started to kind of realize, like, Ainsley, come on, this was your first time ever presenting.

Aynsley Szczesniak [00:19:46]:
You aren't going to get it right every time. You're going to have questions that you don't know how to answer, and that's okay. And it's okay to feel uncomfortable. It's okay to feel like that was a hard thing that you just did because it was, and you were in an uncomfortable situation because this was something you'd never done before. And it's okay to have this reaction, but you can't let this consume your mind. So I ultimately, what I ended up doing is I called a mentor of mine and what became, like, what started as, like, a little, just like, hey, I'm overwhelmed here. Ended up being like an hour long conversation, like 2 hours long, maybe just kind of working it out, working through my head. And that really helped just to kind of put everything back into perspective.

Aynsley Szczesniak [00:20:25]:
So I would say that's my long winded way of saying my biggest piece of advice, if you feel yourself starting to spiral into those questions and doubts is get. Force yourself to go and talk to somebody who you trust and you know can help you bring you back to that place of clarity. Even if you don't want to pick up the phone, even if you just want to, like, sit and curl up in the corner and cry like you. You have to pull yourself out of that even just a little bit. Just press the phone and just call somebody and get it out of your head. Because it's in your head where these doubts just get amplified. Because they're just ricocheting in the canyon of your brain. They can't get out.

Aynsley Szczesniak [00:21:04]:
So they just continue to tell you over and over again that you're not good enough, etcetera, etcetera. So getting it out of your head and finding somebody who you trust and who you value and who you know will give you it straight and support you while also helping you reason through these feelings, that's my biggest piece of advice. Just get out of your head and go find somebody who you can, you trust and who can help you get out of your head.

Chi Quita Mack [00:21:31]:
Absolutely. And don't give up, right? Like, don't let it consume who you are. It's so real. I don't think it matters, like, what you're doing.

Aynsley Szczesniak [00:21:39]:
It.

Chi Quita Mack [00:21:40]:
Like, it always finds a way to creep into your head. And I swear, every time I'm getting ready to have an event or an interview, it always. It starts. And when I wake up that morning, I'm like, am I sick? Do I feel sick? I can't do this. I shouldn't be doing this. Maybe. Why didn't they get so and so to do it? They may be better. Like, all the negative thoughts in the world that you could think of, they just say, let's go to keto.

Chi Quita Mack [00:22:04]:
Boom. Y'all come. And then I'm like, no. Uh uh. No, no. I am not. I'm not gonna do this. Like, I'm not gonna talk myself out of this.

Chi Quita Mack [00:22:12]:
Like, I'm. It's like a whole conversation with myself. Like, if you're probably looking at me at the moment, you're like, this girl is what's wrong with her. But I literally go through, like, all of those emotions beforehand, and then I get out there and I do it, whether it goes well or not. But you're right. You know, growth comes from being uncomfortable. And sometimes those feelings, even though they are uncomfortable, are good feelings, because, I mean, for me, I perform a little bit better because I'm like, all right, girl, come on. Come on.

Chi Quita Mack [00:22:40]:
You know, and I've learned from experience, when I do get the questions that I don't have an answer to, I'd respond to those questions, but I would know had I not been put in a situation like that. So there's so many things that happen and occur, but, yeah, yeah. Imposter syndrome is just one of those things where it's like, God, come on, really? This is happening? But like you said, you know, talk yourself out if it. Find someone to talk to. Yes, girl, cry on your corner, but come on out because we got something to do so you can have your moment. You're allowed to have the moment. I encourage you guys to have your moment, but I just need you to come out of it to continue, do what you were brought out here to do, because if everything were so easy, we'd have a lot more people doing it, but it's not, and we are the people, and so we got to make it happen. We got to make that change, so.

Aynsley Szczesniak [00:23:26]:
Exactly.

Chi Quita Mack [00:23:27]:
Yes.

Aynsley Szczesniak [00:23:27]:
I would say that being someone, like, just starting to enter the world, really something I've definitely kind of learned, and I'm again, it was kind of one of those things where, like, you in high school, you sort of live in your own little bubble. And yes, you think about the world a little bit, but it's sort of this far off thing of, oh, yeah, there. There are problems, but they're just there. We just talk about them. They're not actual. And then you get out into the real world and you're like, oh, these actually do this, you know, gender bias is a real thing. I literally, like, I met a professor who was so overtly biased against women, I just. I see him in the hall sometimes.

Aynsley Szczesniak [00:24:10]:
I'm just like, nope, you were. No, don't like you. But I digress. But, like, you know, one of the things that I really kind of realize is, you know, life is hard. Life sucks. It really sucks. And there's not. You.

Aynsley Szczesniak [00:24:27]:
You can't run away from it. You can't run away from the sucky parts. You just have to push through them. You have to build that strength to go through them, because you know that just as much as there are bad things, there are also good things. And you have to have that strength. You have to let the good things build the strength so that when the bad things do come, you can still get through them. And I think that's something that I kind of, it took a while to really adjust to because, you know, again, when you're in high school, when you're a kid, basically, like, life is just all the good parts because other people hide the bad parts, or other people help get you through the bad parts so quickly that you don't notice that the bad parts happen. But when you're on your own, when you have to be your own person and be responsible for yourself, nobody's gonna hide those bad things.

Aynsley Szczesniak [00:25:13]:
Nobody's going to help you through them. You got to get through them yourself.

Chi Quita Mack [00:25:15]:
Yep.

Aynsley Szczesniak [00:25:16]:
And so that's hard. And having, again, having that network of people you can go to and ask and say, hey, I'm dealing with this. What's your advice? How can. What should I do next that's so important? Because the other thing you have to realize is that if you've never experienced this kind of bad thing before, but maybe someone else has, they can help you. You don't have to do everything on your own.

Chi Quita Mack [00:25:40]:
Yep. It's such an eye opener. And you're going to continue to learn like, your journey has just begun, and there's going to be so many life lessons out there. You're going to be like, I thought I figured this out. What is this. But, you know, it. We are a product of our experience, as I always say. And we're going to go through some good things and we're going to go through some really crappy things, but that's where the lessons come from.

Chi Quita Mack [00:26:09]:
So you go out there and you experience the world, and then you take the lesson and you continue to move on. That's how we grow. So just remember, as you're going, there'll be some stuff you thought you dealt with already. I thought I broke that barrier. Oh, no, here we go again. Okay. You know, let me regroup. Let me take the lesson.

Chi Quita Mack [00:26:25]:
Let me continue to move on because I say that often. I'm like, life sucks, man. Society sucks in the world. Is this. What am I dealing with now? But it's because it's just, it just never ends. It's always comes in some different shape or form, you know? And as a woman, always feeling like you have to prove yourself and always.

Aynsley Szczesniak [00:26:46]:
Oh, don't even get me started on, man.

Chi Quita Mack [00:26:48]:
You know, be better than always, you know, I walk in a room and so I wear full time. I am in the military. I'm a major in the military. And so I've been serving for 14 years now. So uniform, you know, hair pulled back. I look like a little, y'all look like a young little soldier, okay? And so I have to deal with like, oh, my God, how old are you? You look like such a young major. None of your business. It doesn't, it doesn't matter.

Chi Quita Mack [00:27:17]:
And then I'm a female. Oh, and then I'm a black female. Oh, my God. All these things against me, right? So it's like always constantly having to prove yourself, prove who you are, show that I'm able to do the job. And, like, after the first bit, they're like, wow, you're really squared away. And I'm like, I have to grind harder than my peer. I have to go harder than my male peer. We could be doing the same job, but I have to go ten times.

Chi Quita Mack [00:27:40]:
Listen to me, ten times harder for the same thing. You know what I mean? So there's going to be so many things that you continue to go through. And now I'm trying to get promoted to the next rank, and that's where I'm at right now. My goal is to make it before I'm 40 and I'm almost there. But it's hard. It's so hard to know that I have to do three more extra schools than they do so I can get the same rate.

Aynsley Szczesniak [00:28:01]:
And just like, talking with women like you and hearing the stories, you know, it just reminds me, like, this is why I want to do this work, because it's not fair that you have to do that. But until we get to a world where you don't have to anymore, you shouldn't be doing this alone. Like, you should have the support, you should have the resources and the, and the people who you can rely on who can help you get there, and the inner strength to be able to do that. So the way I kind of view it is while, you know, we're never going to have a perfect world, and so instead of trying to fantasize one day about, you know, when the world is like this, while we're trying to create the world we want to see, at the same time, we should be equipping each other with the strength to push through the world that we're at right now. Like, yes, at some point we do want to see a world where more than 3% of women are CEO's of tech companies. But until we get there, we have to help the women who are trying to get to those CEO positions. We have to continue to help them along the way, whether that's by providing mentorship, providing spaces like this to talk about their struggles or just, just the resources and the support that they need. And I think that comes with a lot of just someone has to be the one to take the first step, and somebody has to be the one to say that.

Aynsley Szczesniak [00:29:17]:
And I've met some people who have really opened my, I mean, everybody I meet provides me with another kind of sliver of the bigger picture of what it looks like to be a woman in this world. And I'm grateful for every woman that I meet and every person that I meet who can just teach me a little bit more because, like, hearing your story, share stories like you reminds me that, you know, this is why I'm doing the work that I'm doing. This is why I want to keep going. And this is, this is, these are the things that I want to see fixed at some point in my life.

Chi Quita Mack [00:29:52]:
Yeah, I'm thankful for you. I love it so.

Aynsley Szczesniak [00:29:56]:
And I thank you for being one of those women who isn't afraid to not only stand up for herself, but then also create this space for other women to feel like they're not alone. So we need more women like.

Chi Quita Mack [00:30:07]:
Like you. Thank you so much. It is my mission. Like, I speak, I speak a lot. I'm like, I'm like, everybody's voice. I'm like, oh, what happened? You want me to go talk to them? Oh, what they say? Do you want me to, like, I'm like. I'm just asking because I'll go. I'll go say something good.

Aynsley Szczesniak [00:30:27]:
Like, that's what we need. We need women who are not afraid to go say something. Because I think half the time, the struggle is just, like, we. We know what we want to say, but we just don't have the courage to go and just say it. And just say it. Just get it out of your head again, like, what I'm saying. Get it out of your head.

Chi Quita Mack [00:30:43]:
Yes. Get it out. Yeah, I'm for it. I'm like, I'm here to change the game, so y'all gonna hear me talk. It took me forever to find my voice, and I can't turn it off. Like, it's kind of here.

Aynsley Szczesniak [00:30:55]:
So you gotta listen to me.

Chi Quita Mack [00:30:57]:
So I don't really know how to tell you, but it's important that I teach that to my daughter, because she is. She's just like me. Like, she's the adult me.

Aynsley Szczesniak [00:31:07]:
Good.

Chi Quita Mack [00:31:09]:
I'm like, whoa, lord. Sometimes I'm like, what did I create? But at the same time, I'm like, I love it. I love it. Yes, speak your mind. I'm like, what happened? Who said what? What did you say? Well, that was a good response. I like that. Good job. Good job.

Aynsley Szczesniak [00:31:24]:
That's awesome. Yes. Like, having women like you who are teaching young girls, it's okay to speak your mind. You have a voice, and you should use it, and that's. That's what we need. I'm so glad to hear that. She's like, she's already been finding her voice and stuff. That's so awesome to hear.

Chi Quita Mack [00:31:38]:
Yeah, it's so cool. It's so cool. So is there any piece of advice you want to leave for my audience as you're entering? So you're entering your sophomore year, right? So is there any advice that you want to, one, leave the audience into? I know it's going to be a long year. Maybe. Maybe a short year.

Aynsley Szczesniak [00:31:57]:
I don't know.

Chi Quita Mack [00:31:59]:
Is there anything you want to accomplish in the sophomore year?

Aynsley Szczesniak [00:32:01]:
Okay, first of all, asking what I want to accomplish to the sophomore year, to an ambitious woman, is a dangerous question.

Chi Quita Mack [00:32:08]:
One thing.

Aynsley Szczesniak [00:32:09]:
One thing. Okay. Oh, geez. Okay, I'll start with the advice first, then, so I can kind of ruminate on that a bit. But my one piece of advice that I have found to be kind of the key, I think, to being the person that I am today is kind of like what we were saying before. Say yes. Say yes to an opportunity. If you get an opportunity, just say yes.

Aynsley Szczesniak [00:32:32]:
Even if you know you're gonna fail at it, even if you don't know how it's gonna work out, just say yes. Because you never know where an opportunity is gonna lead. You. Say yes in moderation. Don't say yes to everything, but don't be afraid to say yes if there's something that comes up. Like, I. So I'm part of a west North Carolina. I knew that a was national, runs a magazine, so I was like, hey, you know, maybe I should write an article for them.

Aynsley Szczesniak [00:32:59]:
And so now I've written two, and I'm going to write another one. And just. I really enjoy writing articles. And it gets. It doesn't only. Not only is something that I like to do, but it also helps to get my name out there and get exposure and all those things. And because I said yes to that initial idea, now I'm at this point where it's become something that's been a really big part of my journey. And I feel like women especially, we're too afraid to say yes because we overanalyze what if.

Aynsley Szczesniak [00:33:26]:
We say all the what ifs, and we let those kind of cloud our mind to the point where we don't have room for a yes. So I feel like my biggest piece of advice is, instead of asking, you know, what if? What if, what if? Say what now or what next or what the hell, you know, like, just say that those are the what questions you should be asking, not the what ifs. Just say yes to every opportunity that you feel is something that you think you can learn from and grow from and just say yes. So that's my advice now from my goals, I think, for my. I mean, I have so many goals for speak out sisterhood. I have so many goals for what I want to do with all the different leadership roles I play. But I'd say my one main goal is to become more open to not being the one running everything, to be more trusting. And, I mean, I already.

Aynsley Szczesniak [00:34:21]:
I do trust people, and I'm very willing to delegate, but it's. It's hard sometimes kind of letting go of that control, that oversight, especially as being someone who's very kind of organized and independent. I'm really working hard, and being a speaker, sister, and CEO, like, having a team under me has been really. Or having a team to work with has been really instrumental in teaching me how to delegate and how to trust that people can do things well, and I don't have to be the one kind of overseeing everything. And as a type a workaholic organization. Organization crazy person. Like, it's. It's hard to kind of take that step back and focus on what I need to do with what.

Aynsley Szczesniak [00:35:06]:
What. What my role is and let others do their roles. But, you know, every time what ends up being produced is something more beautiful than anything I could have ever done on my own. And so I think one thing I really want to work on just in general, but I guess, especially in the sophomore year, is recognizing that I don't have to do everything. Like, I don't have to do it all on my own and be more open to not just talking about things with other people but just letting other people do the things that they role is and not having to be the one to do everything. I know saying that I love makes me sound like a narcissist. I swear I'm not. I just.

Aynsley Szczesniak [00:35:45]:
I'm. It's hard sometimes to delegate and to trust and to let go of that oversight and that control, but at the same time, again, you know, it's one of those places of discomfort where you just learn so much from it, and I want to. I want to live in those places of discomfort a lot more.

Chi Quita Mack [00:36:02]:
Yeah. Let me tell you that lesson. You're going to be learning that one because I struggle with that, too. And I had to learn that the level that I am trying to reach, I have to rely on my team because there's not enough hours on a day, and I have to be able to see. I have to pull up. I got to be able to see the big picture, right, as the CEO of my company. But if I'm in, I can't see it from here. I have to pull up.

Chi Quita Mack [00:36:37]:
So in order for me to pull up, I have to trust my team. We'll get it done. But that was hard. That was so hard because I'm like, this is my baby. It's my name. Like, it literally says my name. Like, this is me. You know, my.

Chi Quita Mack [00:36:54]:
Oh, my God. I can't. But again, someone had to tell me, like, you're not. You're going to. You will get there. You're going to be completely burnt out. But for the level you're trying to get, you have to trust and rely on your team. And if they don't do it right, you know, then you train and retain, retrain.

Chi Quita Mack [00:37:08]:
And so that was a lesson that was difficult for me. But you can do it and just keep looking at the big picture, keep trusting the big picture. And you trust but verify, right? You trust but verify. Like, that's not really what I asked for. You know, this is kind of what I was looking for type of thing. But you're right. The products, and the products you do get, sometimes they're better. Like, I don't know if I could have even did that because I'm too busy worried about this and worried about this, you know? So I know you can do it.

Chi Quita Mack [00:37:34]:
I know you can do it. And you're already doing such a great job, and I'm very, very proud of you. I'm happy that you're here changing the world. I'm happy that you found your voice and you came in. You hit the ground sprinting like, you came in. That was my goal. Like, you kicked the door and, like, boom, I'm here.

Aynsley Szczesniak [00:37:53]:
I told one of my friends when I'm at, like, the end of senior, like, my plan is to, as soon as I get to college, you know, I am going to just blow them away. I am going to become the name on campus that everybody knows and for good reasons, not for bad reasons, mind you, and I. And it's seeing how I've already done that, it just gives me the drive to keep going and keep meeting new people and keep changing the world. And because I know that I have the power to do it, I know that I have big dreams, and I see the future that I want, and I'm not afraid to go and chase after.

Chi Quita Mack [00:38:30]:
That's.

Aynsley Szczesniak [00:38:30]:
I think if anything, if anyone listening to this wants to take something away, it's that you are the agent of your own destiny. So go create it. If somebody, you know, if there's an opportunity that you want to do but it's not there, or you don't feel like what's currently available for you is what you want, go create it yourself. You have the power inside you to do it. Like, go for it, and people will find you and people will support you in that.

Chi Quita Mack [00:38:58]:
Yep.

Aynsley Szczesniak [00:38:58]:
If they don't, then go find new people.

Chi Quita Mack [00:39:00]:
There you go. That's what I'm saying. Like, you're literally the. I say you're the author of your own story. You write your happy ending. So you don't like it, erase that sh. Move on. Exactly.

Aynsley Szczesniak [00:39:15]:
Exactly.

Chi Quita Mack [00:39:17]:
Oh, man. Thank you so much for being a part of the beauty in you podcast. It's been so much fun chatting with you today. You are so awesome. Can you tell the audience where they can find you on this, on your socials?

Aynsley Szczesniak [00:39:31]:
Yes. So I'm on Instagram. It's just my name full, namelysesniak, no spaces or anything. Because sisterhood is also on Instagram. We're speak out sisterhood and then we're also on LinkedIn. I love LinkedIn. I'm obsessed with LinkedIn to a fault. My roommate can attest to that.

Aynsley Szczesniak [00:39:52]:
But I love LinkedIn. So please feel free to connect with me on LinkedIn. More than happy to chat about possible collaborations or speaking or anything like that. And speak with sisterhood. We're also on LinkedIn, and then we have a website as well as just speakoutsisterhood.org dot. So feel free to find us anywhere you want and connect. And yeah, yay.

Chi Quita Mack [00:40:15]:
I'll make sure everything is linked so it'll be really easy. Just click there and join her community. All too easy. All right, you guys, I hope you enjoyed this segment. And until next time, thank you for.

Jacqueline G. [00:40:27]:
Joining us on this week's episode of the Beauty and you podcast. Don't forget to rate, review and subscribe. Visit us@thechiquitamack.com or join us on Instagram at thechiquitamack for your daily motivation and inspiration. Tell a friend to tell a friend until next time.