MiCole Forte on Redefining Identity: Self-Love, Purpose, and Motherhood

Welcome back to "The Beauty in You," where every woman's story shines. I'm Chi Quita Mack, and in today's special episode, we're joined by MiCole Forte—mother and storyteller. Micole gets real with us about the highs and lows of her personal rediscovery, from navigating motherhood to re-entering the dating world.

As we unpack her journey, we'll confront the difficult parts of relationships and personal growth, and the importance of self-discovery. MiCole challenges us to find the beauty in life's complexities and to redefine ourselves on our own terms, beyond societal expectations.

Get ready to be inspired by her insights on purpose, choosing your battles wisely, and the significance of solo travel for self-care. This conversation is an empowering reminder that every step you take towards self-discovery is a step towards the authentic you.

Join us now for a powerful session on transformation, growth, and the enduring pursuit of "The Beauty in You."

Connect with MiCole: https://www.instagram.com/micoleforte/?igshid=hnnts9oivv77

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Chapters

• 7:00 Balancing comfort and glamour in personal style
• 11:52 Micole questions identity beyond titles and roles
• 18:11 Telling your story is uncomfortable but important
• 23:08 Trust and safety are essential for intimacy
• 26:28 Travel is my safe and happy space
• 34:52 Challenging to find people, but very satisfying
• 40:32 Encouraging independence, breaking generational curses
• 44:13 Recognize the power within for happiness
• 51:17 Journal helps find yourself by going back
• 58:55 Embracing purpose and confronting uncomfortable truths

Transcript

Jacqueline G. [00:00:01]:
Welcome to the Beauty and you podcast, a safe place created for all women to come relax, get inspired, and be constantly reminded that they have not lost the ability to be who they once were. Join us as we dive into the true meaning of rediscovery through inspiring guests and topics such as healing, self love, and creating a positive mindset. So sit back, relax, and get comfortable as we dive to this week's episode. Here's your host, Takita Mack.

Chi Quita Mack [00:00:29]:
Hey, y'all. And welcome back to another episode of the Beauty and you podcast. I am so excited for this guest today. You are definitely going to be blown away. Mikole Forte obtains her doctorate from Experience university. Her passion has always been in helping women through telling stories about her personal experiences. In doing so, she reveals uncomfortable truths that trigger internal healing, mentally, spiritually, and emotionally. Her stories have been known to change mindsets and perspectives.

Chi Quita Mack [00:01:03]:
When she's speaking, she never tells a story without a point and never makes a point without telling a story. She truly can find the mess in any message. Mother of one, countless plants, published journal author, podcast host, event host, moderator, masters of all things fun, and always on the go. Mama. Welcome. Welcome to the beauty and you podcast.

Micole [00:01:28]:
Thank you so much for having me. I'm so excited.

Chi Quita Mack [00:01:31]:
I am so excited to have you. I've been watching. We're Insta sisters. I haven't caught you in person yet, but Instagram sisters and your journey has just been amazing. Your ability to just remain true to who you are and you're never afraid to tell the truth or to inspire and share your experiences. So thank you for being here today.

Micole [00:01:57]:
Thank you for having me. It is truly an honor and definitely aligned with my whole goals for 2024 as far as getting my message out there. So I am happy for this to be the first of very in depth conversations that I will be having about life and everything else. I'm so honored.

Chi Quita Mack [00:02:24]:
There's so much that I want to touch on today, but I'm going to have you lead us and we'll just go from there. I really want to talk about your rediscovery journey, and I understand that you've definitely been full circle. Yeah. So do you lead me in a little bit on your rediscovery journey?

Micole [00:02:42]:
Man, let's just rip the band aid off, right? We ripping it off. Rediscovery. Wow. I feel like me and rediscovery have a love hate relationship right now. Coming into adulthood and coming into finding yourself in your journey, a lot of times you think that it's so like one and done right, you feel like if I find myself, if I figure out what I like, what I love, if I love on myself, then the work is done. But it's not. What I'm learning about rediscovering is that it is constant. And it's also kind of disappointing because you get to a level in life where you're like, yes, I did it.

Micole [00:03:29]:
I found me. I love me. And then life takes a pivotal turn, and then now you're at a place where it's like, oh, my gosh, I now have to rediscover another part of me, or I have to rediscover myself because I'm not who I was when I rediscovered myself the first time. So I'm learning as I grow and I evolve and I become the woman that I desire to be. The rediscovering is just constant, constant, constant, and it never ends. And it's very exhausting. So where I am on my journey now is just understanding that and feeling okay about those steps when I get there. For instance, I went through the stage of rediscovering myself after bad relationships, and that was me finding myself and me falling into who I was, learning what I liked, what I loved, learning how to love on myself so other people can love me, too.

Micole [00:04:30]:
Right? And then I was rediscovering myself as a mother. So it was like, those are two separate entities. I had to rediscover who I was or who I could be for someone else, right? And now recently, I'm rediscovering myself in the dating world because I love me for me and I love me for my motherhood. But do I love me enough for someone else? Is totally different. It's a whole different job. And I'm learning that. And it's a process. It's a very uncomfortable process.

Chi Quita Mack [00:05:08]:
It's all of that. And it's scary.

Micole [00:05:12]:
Terrifying.

Chi Quita Mack [00:05:13]:
It's really scary. And I was even nervous for our podcast today because I'm like, oh, my God, we're going to talk about love. We're going to talk about vulnerability because those are all the things that I struggle with.

Micole [00:05:25]:
It's natural.

Chi Quita Mack [00:05:26]:
Yeah. I'm like, oh, my God, I don't even feel I'm uncomfortable talking about it. But I need to share this part of my journey because, yeah, rediscovery is scary. And for me, I can tell you about self love and self care and all that all day long. But you want to talk about love and being vulnerable and allowing your walls to come down. You know what?

Micole [00:05:49]:
Submissive and understanding and all kinds of stuff. It's hard. I found myself. I like the way I look for me, right? Like, when I put on clothes and when I go out, I'm perfectly fine with a lounge set and my hair up and my hair tied or my locks not tied. And I was finding in dating, that doesn't really work for me because I don't want to look like that with someone else. Like, I want to look like that with me. That's the level of me that I want. That's the love of what I want for me.

Chi Quita Mack [00:06:26]:
Right.

Micole [00:06:26]:
But it's not so much the love that I want for someone else to see me, and it's okay for them to see me that way. But if I'm on somebody's arm, I want to be stepping. I want to look good. I want to walk in a room, like, oh, that's hard. Yes, it is. So it's totally different. So the way I dress, the way I act, the way I carry myself, for me, and the way I carry myself and act and dress with someone else, it's two separate entities.

Chi Quita Mack [00:06:57]:
And making that into one person, making.

Micole [00:07:00]:
It into one person. And, you know, two things can be true. Like, you can love loungewear, and you can also love putting your heels on and your makeup on and looking pretty and glamorous and stepping out as well. So I'm learning how to be comfortable with both of those sides. And it's a transition because it's like, oh, my gosh, all I want to buy is loungewear, but it's like, I can't buy loungewear. I have to buy date night stuff because I can't wear my lounge and wear a date night. And that's the side that a lot of people don't talk about when they talk about stepping into the redefining themselves in relationships or for someone else, they don't talk about the work that it takes to kind of mold yourself in more ways than one.

Chi Quita Mack [00:07:46]:
Yeah. And even in marriage, because I've been married for 16 years. 16 years. And we've been through a lot of transition. But even that, you find yourself comfortable, like, oh, I ain't got to shave all the time.

Micole [00:08:02]:
You need to still do those things.

Chi Quita Mack [00:08:04]:
I am the worst together, and I love workout clothes. I love me a pair of tights.

Micole [00:08:15]:
Yes.

Chi Quita Mack [00:08:15]:
And t shirt and my sneakers or my ugg boots. I'm good and just understanding myself for my spouse because we've changed a lot. Like, we've been together since we were 18 years old, and we're 37 now. So in that time, there has been a lot of change and transition and growth and just really understanding who he is now. And for him to understand who I am now, it's been a lot of growth there. And we actually just had a conversation the other day about understanding our growth and transition and being comfortable with each other to have those conversations. And so relationships, dating, all of that, it's definitely a lot of work and progress. And you're right, a lot of people don't talk about it.

Chi Quita Mack [00:09:03]:
You go through social media and everyone's like, it's not like that all the time. And it's okay to talk about those things. It's okay to talk about the difficult parts of relationships and growing with your partner and growing into the person you want to be, whether you're in a relationship and when you're not in a relationship.

Micole [00:09:28]:
Absolutely. It's two separate entities. And it's not always fun. And it sounds fun, or it sounds like it could be fun, like dating and experiencing new things. But with new things always comes a shift, a change. And one thing about change is it's not always comfortable. It's probably the most uncomfortable thing, because it takes you from one way of thinking to another or one way of being to another, and with that comes discomfort. So a lot of people miss that mark on talking about that.

Chi Quita Mack [00:10:03]:
Absolutely. One thing I love about you is how you always talk about your experiences in your past experiences, what has happened that has made you really valued what you've gone through and really focus on that self reflection part of it.

Micole [00:10:24]:
Everything. The highs, the lows, the tears, the fears, the smiles. I think every single experience makes me who I am, and I'm really transparent about those experiences from my perspective without taming anyone else. But I think the best part about my redefining was losing myself to find myself again. And although it happened so late, it was very beneficial and it was very effective because I was an adult and I was well experienced life, I was already in motherhood. So finding myself again and learning how to find myself was really big for me. And it was fun and it was scary, and it was a lot of steps, but I did it. And it's one of the things that I talk about a lot.

Micole [00:11:16]:
Like, I wrote a journal on getting back to yourself after tragic situations. And they don't even have to be tragic. They can be good situations. But just finding yourself under all of our titles, we bury ourselves so quickly. And I found myself doing that a lot. Like I wanted to talk about when introducing myself. I wanted to talk about being a mom and being a girlfriend and being a boss and all of these things. And what I noticed was, wow, none of that is really me.

Micole [00:11:52]:
All of these are just titles like, who am I underneath all of these titles? If I have nothing left, if my career is gone, if I'm no longer in a relationship, if I am no longer a mom, could I introduce myself as just being Nicole and it'd be okay? And when I asked myself that, and the answer was no, I knew that some work had to be done. There has to be a me that exists. If none of this does, because it's kind of boring, imagine going somewhere and introducing yourself and, you know, I'm Nicole. I'm a mom. My children are such and such and such and such. This one does this, this one does that, that one does that. I am a payroll and accounting manager, and I do this and this and this, and I have this many people up under me, and it's just great. I love the company that I work for.

Micole [00:12:48]:
The company does this, that and that. I am in a long term relationship or marriage. My husband, my boyfriend, is wonderful. He does this, he does that. And then after a while, you realize all I am is talking about things and people. Like, I have yet to say anything about myself. So what I started doing, I started changing my introduction. And because I didn't know how to introduce myself, I had to try things, right? So I had to say, okay, what do I like to do and what don't I like to do? And let's start there.

Micole [00:13:21]:
And sometimes I realized I had to go back to my old self, like, okay, I used to like to do this. Let me try this. And I might not have liked to do it now, still, but it led me to something else, right? So it's like, maybe I don't like working out, right? But I like the workout clothes. I feel comfortable in them. Okay, so we're getting somewhere. We're hot. I like the way I feel when I'm comfortable, right. I may not like to go shopping, right.

Micole [00:13:55]:
I don't want to go in the stores, and I want to look for. Shop for clothes or whatever or anything like that, but I like clothes. So where can I do this to where I'm comfortable? I want to shop online. Trying things may lead you to certain things, and you may feel like you still like those things, but that's important. So then you're discovering yourself. You're defining yourself. So now you're having things that you can actually say about yourself. When you're introducing yourself, and you always leave with that.

Micole [00:14:26]:
So that's why my introductions are so important to me, because it's like, I want to talk about me first. Who am I? What do I do? Aside from any title? And then all of that falls after that, because the person that is in front of you, the person that is speaking to you, is who you're talking to, who's talking to you. So you don't want to be that person, to be tainted by a whole bunch of other things. And that was really important for me to learn, and that has been the best journey ever.

Chi Quita Mack [00:14:59]:
When you were giving the introduction, I was, like, laughing to myself, because that was literally the hardest part of my rediscovery journey, was just that question, who are you? And when I went to therapy, and that was the main thing that my therapist at the time was like, who is. I'm like, you know, I have Trey, and I have. And. And she's like, no, who are you? And I used to be so angry when I talk about the level, because she pushed me. She was willing to push me, first of all, and I just don't like to be. Don't do that. But I needed that, and she knew it. And she would push me, push me, push me.

Chi Quita Mack [00:15:44]:
I would get so upset. Like, why do you keep asking me this question? She's like, because you're not answering the question. Everything that you're saying to me is what you are to everybody else, but you're unable to tell me who you are. And that's when I was just like, you know what? I really don't know who quita is now I know who I used to be.

Micole [00:16:05]:
The best advice I give to people who are thinking that they're losing yourself is to ask yourself that very question, because that question right there is crazy. I found myself, even when sending my introduction for this very show, stumped for a second, and immediately it was like, oh, crap, I've got work to do. Because as I'm redefining myself, I'm changing. So it's hard to reintroduce or even introduce yourself at all when you're rediscovering yourself again. And when writing it, I'm like, oh, crap, where do I start? Where do I go? And at first, I was like, oh, I can say this. And I'm like, oh, gosh, I'm doing it again. I'm titling myself. How do I not title myself? Let me get away from this.

Micole [00:16:54]:
And it just made me realize, okay, you know what? I have a little bit of work to do right now because I have to figure out what to say. I love to travel the world, and I love to experiencing things, but what's the root of that? Why am I doing that? What's the why to that? And how is that connected to the version of me that I want people to know? And trying to understand that is very tricky. So I was like, oh, you know, I got some work to do. I struggled my introduction a little bit. Time to do some work to some soul searching and see what's going on.

Chi Quita Mack [00:17:30]:
What is crazy, though? But your introduction, like, when I received it, I'm like, this is accurate. Seriously. So you did good, because I only know you through, yes, social media, but to me, you are who you are. I've never been like, oh, my God. And when I read it, I'm like, yeah, this is who she is. You're never afraid to be who you are. You're never afraid to say, I tried this, you all. And you don't hide the bad sides of it.

Chi Quita Mack [00:18:02]:
You literally give us the good, the bad, and the ugly. And I think that is so important. It is so important, which is why your message is even more valuable.

Micole [00:18:11]:
Yeah. It's hard, though, because I feel like when you're in the ugly, it's already an uncomfortable place. And then you have to tell the story, which also makes it uncomfortable because you're like, oh, my gosh, am I going to be judged by this? How do I put this to where it's not judged? And then you have to get to a place where you just don't care. You have to realize, like, you know what? Somebody gets it. Somebody is going to understand what's going on, and they're going to connect with it, and it's going to be for somebody. It may not be for everybody, but it will be for someone. And that's the beauty in it. And you kind of have to take away who it's not for.

Micole [00:18:49]:
They don't matter. And being transparent comes with kind of almost like grief because it's, like, disappointing. It's like me telling an ugly story is also causing judgment. It may cause hurt for whoever's on the other side of it. It's so many different things that come with it, but it's also very beautiful because, like I said, it connects with people, and it gets people to understand that they're not alone in certain things.

Chi Quita Mack [00:19:21]:
And I think that's important when I'm speaking, there's a part of my introduction where I talk about, I get to the ugly part, right? I'm like, things weren't always so great. And there's one picture I show of myself during that time when I was really underweight. I'm in a bathing suit and you can count my ribs, literally.

Micole [00:19:42]:
But every time I show that.

Chi Quita Mack [00:19:47]:
Every time I show that picture, I've not yet to get through it without tearing up. And I say, give me a minute, and then I continue on. But in my mind, because you can't just stop in the middle, can't just stop speaking. You're there for a reason. But at the same time, in my head, I'm like, oh, my God, here you go crying again. Or here you go being upset again, or here you go. And I had to really understand, like, that's a part of my journey. It's not the best part, but it's the most impactful part because when I see that picture, too, I'm like, girl, you came a long way.

Chi Quita Mack [00:20:28]:
That's where you was at, and look at where you are now. And so it's very uncomfortable. I don't want to say not safe, but I don't feel comfortable. I just don't feel comfortable. But I also know in sharing my story and sharing that part of it and then showing, like, through the work, because it's a lot of work and it's continuous work, you can get through it. I've helped at least one person, but every time, man, and I'm not going to lie, I always beat myself up. Like, girl, are you really? Like, seriously? You're going to do this again? But, yeah, every time.

Micole [00:21:03]:
Yeah. I found myself going on an insecurity journey, right. And it's the most sensitive topic to me right now because it's like, wow, I was secure with myself, right? Loving on myself. But when it comes to someone else loving on me, I don't know if I'm secure with that. Right? I had a conversation with somebody and it kind of spoke volumes because I'm like, I'm not insecure. What I require is safety. I feel like I'm not safe. And it was actually a guy I had a conversation with.

Micole [00:21:44]:
Because when dating, men are so quick to say you're insecure because you react to a certain thing a certain way or because you feel a certain way about going days without hearing from them or even being ghosted or stuff like that. And I had to really, we went back and forth a little bit and I really thought about it. I'm like, you know what? I'm not secure. Like, I'm very secure, who I am. I know that I'm a great person and I'm a great woman, and I bring a lot to the table. That's not the question. I know that I'm beautiful. None of that is tainted.

Micole [00:22:23]:
What's tainted is my safety. I don't feel safe with you. I don't feel like I can not talk to you and everything will be fine. I feel like something is going on and it's more so, like a safe issue. So now I find myself trying to figure out, okay, how do I convert this insecurity phase that I think is insecure, which is really safety, into something that's safe. So now when I'm talking to men and even women infringements, I'm like. They're like, do you deal with any insecurities? No, I deal with safety issues. Like, I want to feel safe.

Micole [00:23:08]:
If I tell you something, I want to know that you're not going to go and say it again because that's not me being insecure that you'll do it. It's me just feeling like I can trust you with these things. If I give you my body, I want to know that I'm safe. It's not me being insecure about how I look or how I feel during the moment. I want to know that it's with purpose and intention both ways. It's not just for the moment. So I think that right there is a really big thing for me right now as trying to figure out how I break down that safety versus insecurity thing. Like, I am not insecure.

Micole [00:23:53]:
I want to feel safe with my feelings, safe with my time, safe with my space, safe with my words, safe with so many other things.

Chi Quita Mack [00:24:03]:
And there's absolutely nothing wrong with that. The fact that you're even able to process and realize it is safety. And that's what I need. We do that all the time. As far as even friendships and relationships, just feeling safe. I got about five people that I will consider friends, like sisters. Because of that, I need to feel safe. I don't like to be in a room full of people because I don't know you all like that.

Chi Quita Mack [00:24:35]:
I will sit there, like, on my phone, and then it comes, well, what's wrong with you? Nothing. I'm just sitting here because I'm really uncomfortable. I don't like small talk.

Micole [00:24:45]:
Right.

Chi Quita Mack [00:24:46]:
Yeah, I'm like. And I have to feel like you're not trying to take from me either.

Micole [00:24:53]:
Right?

Chi Quita Mack [00:24:53]:
I've had that, too. And so I think it's fair to want to be safe and want to feel safe and being able to express that, like, I need to feel safe in my environment and within my relationships. Because if I'm not safe, then I know that I'm not even going to give half of what I'm supposed to be right, and what I bring. And then being able to receive that love that I am more than worthy of receiving, it's not going to happen if safety is not met first.

Micole [00:25:25]:
Absolutely.

Chi Quita Mack [00:25:27]:
So I do want to talk about your travels.

Micole [00:25:31]:
Okay.

Chi Quita Mack [00:25:32]:
And I want you to tell me about your travel adventures. But the confidence in being able to travel alone, because that is huge, especially in rediscovery.

Micole [00:25:48]:
It is. And that is a big part of my rediscovery journey, is being able to break away from my regular routine and just get up and go and relax and take a break. The one thing I love about it so much is that I've always, since learning who I am and learning what I like and love, I've always scheduled time for me. I've always made that space and that time for me. So I do have a travel budget. I have a travel card, and I will swipe it, pay it off, swipe it, pay it off. They'll increase the balance. I'll swipe it, pay it off, and then a lot of stuff I pay cash for.

Micole [00:26:28]:
But I am learning that travel is like my safe space. It is my happy space. And I used to be so afraid to travel alone, but then I realized I am alone. I can't wait for people to want to do things with me. And I can't just only do things when people want to do things, because I used to be the one that's like, okay, well, I'll go with them, and I'll be like a third will or a fifth will or whatever odd number it is, because they'll just be me. But then I realized I'm on other people's times, I'm not on mine. So I kind of had to just swallow it and just be like, let me try it. And one thing that I love, there's a quote that says, the best things in life live past fear.

Micole [00:27:15]:
And they do, because I was so terrified the first trip I went on, like, oh, my gosh, and I'm going to be somebody's sex slave for a very long time. I don't know if anybody's going to find me. This is going to be terrible. I had all these things going in my head. I was just worse, the worst. And then finally I was like, shut up, shut up. I had to really take myself out of the idea that you have to get past the fear. A lot of people say, like, oh, you went all the way out of the country.

Micole [00:27:55]:
Is it safe? I'm not safe in the states. I don't know if you all know what's going on here. I don't know if y'all watch the news, but nobody is like, we ain't safe on ground. The only reason why we do feel safe is because we call it home. Our families are here, what we know is here, and we're going to environments that we're not familiar with. So we think that that means that they're less safe, but in all reality, they're not any less safe. You're just unfamiliar with the environment. So when traveling, I always try to find the most beautiful places.

Micole [00:28:32]:
And it doesn't have to have a whole lot of extracurricular stuff, like activities and stuff like that. It just has to have an aesthetic that I crave. Right. So it's like at certain times, like for Christmas, I really want it to be fun and playful, and I wanted to have a good time, and I also wanted to relax. So when picking a resort, that's what I picked. Like, something fun with color and brightness and somewhere I was going to have a good time. My son's dad and I co parent, so I have an amazing support system that helps, and that support system kicks in whenever I need it, which is great. And it allows me to be able to travel and go and do things.

Micole [00:29:23]:
And so he's usually gone during the holidays, and holidays are already bad for depression, and so many different fields you go through during the holidays. So one thing I refused to this year was sit around like, my son is not going to be here. My cousin is leaving. My brothers are gone. My mother is doing whatever, everybody's doing something. I'm going to do something. I'm not just going to sit at the house and be in an empty house when I can be somewhere else. I can afford it financially.

Micole [00:29:56]:
What's stopping me from going? And you got to just take the fear out of it and be like, oh, well, bye. Yeah, that's what I do. I'm like a little kid in the air. It's like, oh, it's so exciting. And sometimes I'm really annoyed with the airport and I'm really annoyed with the plane, and I'll sleep, but when I get there, it's just like this overwhelming, like, wow, I'm here. It's a different scenery. I can think, I can feel clearly, I don't have to worry about my doorknob being broken and need to be fixed or the laundry needing to be done or what my son did last week. I can literally just bask in the beauty of wherever I'm at, and that, for me, is, like, the best self care ever.

Chi Quita Mack [00:30:44]:
That's so cool. I know what it feels like to be scared to travel by yourself.

Micole [00:30:52]:
But you did it.

Chi Quita Mack [00:30:53]:
I did it. Yeah. And that is one. So when you talk about redefining moments, that is literally a redefining moment in my rediscovery journey, because, girl, I was scared.

Micole [00:31:07]:
But you got there. And how did you feel?

Chi Quita Mack [00:31:09]:
Oh, my God, I felt amazing. I was so afraid. First of all, I don't do well on long flights. I'm like, oh, my lord. But, like, no, get on a flight.

Micole [00:31:21]:
I'm going to go to sleep.

Chi Quita Mack [00:31:22]:
I'm going to wake up. I'm going to eat. Like, I had it broken down in my head so I wouldn't freak myself out. But once I got there, I was so proud of myself. I was proud of myself because the old keta would have gave 20 million reasons why I couldn't go on that trip.

Micole [00:31:38]:
Yeah.

Chi Quita Mack [00:31:39]:
And I would have been like, oh, Trey needs this, and Trey has basketball, and Leah has track, and then, oh, my God, I have to do this, this, this, and I can't. And. And then I would have made it, convinced myself enough where it's. Yeah, but I was so determined. I'm like, nope, I'm going. I need this for me. And it's the most beautiful moment, like, riding my bike in Spain on the countryside and seeing the horse. I love horses.

Chi Quita Mack [00:32:06]:
I'm like, one day I'm going to have a horse, but I love horses. And to have the horses just come to you, and I have a picture of me, like, just petting somebody horse. Think I didn't come outside and say nothing, but I would have never experienced that had I not put fear to the side and do something for myself. That trip definitely defined where I am now.

Micole [00:32:33]:
Yes. Another thing that is really big, that has me really big on travel is people don't expect me to be able to do it. I'm a single mom. I'm a single woman. But it's something so satisfying about people that's like, oh, my gosh, you're going somewhere again. How do you do it? Magic. I got this. I love.

Micole [00:32:57]:
There's a statistic that comes with being a single mom and a single woman that you can't have it all. And that's not true. You absolutely can still have and do it all now it is a little bit more expensive. Don't get me wrong. If anybody tells you that traveling with one is better than two, it is absolutely not. That is a lie. For one, it's way more expensive. The bag for one person is always way more than for two.

Micole [00:33:26]:
It is the most annoying thing ever. It's like, why would you charge less for two? There's two.

Chi Quita Mack [00:33:31]:
There's two people.

Micole [00:33:31]:
Why wouldn't you charge us one? I will never understand how they make the math when it comes to that. So it is a little more expensive to travel alone, however it can be done. And I think with me, it's also a satisfaction to me, like, yes, I did this. I can do this. I can redefine the statistic of being a single woman and a single mom. Because guess what? Even though I'm a single woman and a single mom, I'm not in a single family income. I work two full time jobs, so I'm blessed to be able to maneuver and do those things where they don't conflict with each other. And also, I am not just sitting around waiting for somebody else to do things with me.

Micole [00:34:26]:
I can still do them. So there's a requirement now. It sucks because it makes me super independent. It doesn't give me, what do they call it? Like, the soft girl era. It's kind of intimidating. I found out. I find that when I date and I tell people that, it's like, dang, I don't know if I can keep up. And I'm like, but you got to, because that's a requirement.

Micole [00:34:52]:
Yeah, that's a requirement for me. So it sucks trying to find people that are able to keep up with that because it's very rare. But it is so satisfying to know that it's possible because people don't think it can be done. So redefining that statistic is very beautiful to me, and I'm really going to dive into that because there's a lot of women who can do it. The way I started out doing it was like, do I really need this cart? What can I buy with this $500 cart that I'm about to check out instead? That can be just as satisfying. Like, I can buy $500 worth of clothes where I'm going to wear them to, or I can spend it on a trip and I can wear what I already have and I can be somewhere and I can relax and get away from my normal. So I started moving money around in those ways. Like, what can I do with this? I have it.

Micole [00:35:53]:
How can I make this beneficial? I'm not going to break the bank and I'm not going to go broke. But at the same time, it's like I want to live. I want to live now. If something was to happen to me, people to know me for something, and it not just be well, she was a mama.

Chi Quita Mack [00:36:10]:
She was a good mama, too.

Micole [00:36:11]:
She was really good at them numbers. She can work a spreadsheet with her eyes closed. She can accounting error, like that. Somebody to say she actually really lived. And because she was able to live, I feel like I can live, too. And because she was able to master single motherhood, I feel like I can do that, too. That's the story I want to leave behind, not the story that's statistically attached to what I am. I want something different for myself.

Chi Quita Mack [00:36:47]:
I think it's important, just with that alone is to continuously give the lesson that we are the authors of our story. We write that, we do that. And just being able to say, like, I'm not going to live the way you think I should be living as a single mom, et cetera. Because people do put stigmas on what we should be doing, single mom or not. As a mom.

Micole [00:37:17]:
As a mom.

Chi Quita Mack [00:37:18]:
As a mom, you're here and you have two kids. Oh, my God. Or myself. Being in the military. You're in the military. How do you leave your kid? So now you see what I'm saying? Like, there's stigmas, a place to whatever we do. And it's like, yeah, that's your story. But that may not be my story.

Chi Quita Mack [00:37:36]:
I am the author of my story. I create my own narrative, and I'm going to show you what I'm able to do. And the story you're writing, your story, your narrative, everything you're saying, like, I want to teach someone, you are doing those things. I just want you to understand that. I know we beat ourselves up, but you're writing the narrative just the way you would like to write your narrative. And it's just important. Just understand everyone that's listening, it's your story. It's your story.

Chi Quita Mack [00:38:10]:
Don't bend, don't break for nobody else. Take your time, write your story and do it the way you want to do it. Because it can be done. Absolutely, it can be done. What advice would you give to that mom, that single mom that wants to write her own story? But fear is really a factor.

Micole [00:38:33]:
You know what? And we already said it, the best thing in life lives past fear. And not only that, you are responsible for your story, how it's written, how it's presented. You have two options. You can stay there and be stuck and stagnant and afraid, or you can just let go and realize, like, dang, I can really fly. You also have to realize that as mothers, our children are watching us. They are attaching theirselves to what we do, which forms those generational curses. Right. I never want my son to see that he has to stay where he was.

Micole [00:39:31]:
That was really big on me. To me, I felt like because my family was somewhere, I had to be there, too. Because I was born there or because I lived there or grew up there, I had to be there, too. And there's a whole world out there, and it is just waiting for you. And you cannot see it if you don't want to, or you can. It's completely up to you. But you have options. Don't limit yourself.

Micole [00:40:03]:
Don't box yourself in. Think outside the box. And most importantly, don't just think. Be outside your box. I don't want my son. I said, by the time he graduates high school, he will have visited all 50 states. Why? Because I want him to see that you have options. And although I'll be sad that you're far, I can come visit you.

Micole [00:40:32]:
I don't want you to feel limited. If my son tells me he wants to stay in his hometown after he graduates high school, my first question is why? You're going to have to give me a good answer as to why. And it cannot be based off of the simple fact that your family is here. It cannot be based off the simple fact that this is what you know, because you can learn new things and you can build a new family. People are everywhere. So I don't want you to limit yourself by fear. And just remember that there are people watching you. So break those generational curses.

Micole [00:41:10]:
Now. My biggest fear as motherhood and as being a single mom is I feel like I'm teaching my son that women do it. All right? So one of my biggest things with him is I don't do no housework. I will pay the bills, but you're going to have to pull your weight somewhere. So I'm not doing the laundry. I'm not doing the dishes. I am not vacuuming. I am not doing it.

Micole [00:41:40]:
Now, I will give my house a really big, deep clean sometimes. Like, I'll clean it, but I am not doing everything because I don't want to unconsciously teach you that this is what women do. Women go to work. They come home, they cook, they clean. That's it. No, you have to pull your weight. If you're not working, you better be doing something right. If you are working, somebody better be doing something for you.

Micole [00:42:10]:
That is the narrative that I want to teach. And at first, I was scared. I was like, oh, my gosh, I'm treating him like a slave. But then I'm like, I'm the slave if I don't everything. And, yeah, you're saying my mom's going to do it. He has a thing. Like, I feel like a maid. Well, okay.

Micole [00:42:26]:
I work two jobs. I'm paying all the bills. I'm supporting you financially. Anything you want to do, I am driving you around. Anything you want is at your fingertips. In return, you have to pull your weight in some way, and you are capable and able to do this. So I'm not doing it. I am not doing it.

Micole [00:42:49]:
Now, I'll give my house a good, deep clean every now and then where I just feel like cleaning, and I'll put my music on. But on a regular day, on a regular basis, that laundry needs to be put in laundry in the washer. Then when it's done, it needs to go from the washer to the dryer. Then after it comes out of the dryer, it needs to be folded and put away.

Chi Quita Mack [00:43:06]:
Put it away? Yes.

Micole [00:43:08]:
If I have to cook, because he's not cooking yet, I will cook these dishes. You ain't got to wash them. The dishwasher will do it. But you're going to load it and you're going to unload it and you're going to put it away. You don't have to get in there and scrub. There's more than one way to get home. And we can do things the smart way and the efficient way, but they got to be done. So my advice would just be just change your narrative.

Micole [00:43:37]:
Change your idea of what you want. Really sit down and say, how do I want my life to look like? This is my reality. This is the cards that I'm played, right? I mean, the hand that I'm built, how do I want to play them? And you just go from there and you'll find the beauty in it, and there will be a lot of ugly in it, too. But the idea is to make your life as beautiful as you possibly can or as comfortable for you as you possibly can. And you'll find that happiness will attach to it.

Chi Quita Mack [00:44:13]:
Yes. I love it. Absolutely. We just have so much power, and I feel like we somehow, sometimes take our own power away and not understanding how much power we truly have, especially with our mindset, positive mindset, not walking around saying everything is all hunky dory, but just understanding. Like, I have the power, I have control of my peace and happiness. That part, because I was literally, I remember I was talking to, oh, my God. He's retired now, but one of my old bosses a few years ago, and really going through the ugly of my journey, and I kept like, when we get past this court, it was court, when I get past this court, know, then I'll be happy, and then I'll feel at then. But every time I said, I would say, when we get through this, then I would be.

Chi Quita Mack [00:45:08]:
And he would be like, he's Mr. Banks. Hi, Mr. Banks. If you're out there, he said, why do you keep saying, when you get through this, then you will have, why are you not trying to be at peace now? Why are you giving them control over your peace and happiness? And I'm like, what are you talking about? No, because then I won't be as stressed, and then I'll be able to have the peace and happy. And he said, no, sweetheart, that ain't it. And that's when I started to realize, like, wait a minute. I can choose how, I can't choose what people do, but I can choose how I react.

Chi Quita Mack [00:45:42]:
I can choose who I let in my circle and my comfort zone. And I have the ability to say no. So why am I putting myself in uncomfortable situations and relying on certain people to do what I would like them to do to make me happy?

Micole [00:46:01]:
Finding the reasoning to something is big. I had a mom come to me. She messaged me, and she says, I'm exhausted. Like all of my kids, I have to do this, this. And I just asked her a simple question. I was just like, why are you exhausted when it comes to housework or this and that? Like, you have three capable children. Why are they not doing their laundry? Why are you doing laundry? Why are you doing, and they're small battles. You pick your battles, right? You can't have it all.

Micole [00:46:36]:
And they might not do the laundry right. My son doesn't do the laundry right sometimes. And I have to refold stuff or I have to sit and take the time to show him. This is how you fold a towel. Don't fold this towel like this, or I will unfold the entire closet and you will fold them again. This is how you fold the towel. You have to pick your battles. So, yes, I'm exhausted as a mom.

Micole [00:46:57]:
That's something that just comes with it. I can still be exhausted by not having to do the chores around the house because I have to delegate them and I have to critique them and I have to make sure they're done right. You pick your battles. So I'm trading physical exhaustion for mental exhaustion because physically I'm not tired. Because I didn't vacuum all of upstairs. Right. I'm not physically tired, but I sat there and said, you missed the spot. You have to vacuum like this.

Micole [00:47:31]:
This is how you vacuum. I have to show you and train, but after a while, you have to realize everything folds. Everything comes to an end. So while I'm now exhausted, because I'm not necessarily doing the work, but I'm overseeing and delegating. That's tiring. Eventually I won't have to. So you have to kind of pick your battles, and you have to learn how to define your why. Why am I exhausted and how do I get off of this and kind of pick what works for you, but finding the reasoning to something, you can't just kind of say, well, if I ever could travel, I'm going to do this, or when I ever do get some money, I'm going to do this.

Micole [00:48:18]:
There are ways that you can do everything, and the only person that stops and limits you is yourself.

Chi Quita Mack [00:48:25]:
Yes. Always yourself.

Micole [00:48:28]:
You have to be willing to do the work. And once you do the work, you will find that everything else falls into.

Chi Quita Mack [00:48:36]:
Absolutely. If you could go back to 18 year old Mikole.

Micole [00:48:44]:
Oh, so you don't want me to do that.

Chi Quita Mack [00:48:49]:
What advice would you give her?

Micole [00:48:53]:
Listen, don't ask me can I go back? Because if I could go back, I will be unstoppable. Yes. I wouldn't give no advice. I would be like, do this. If I could talk to the younger me, I would tell her to live and not in the idea of what is deemed to be normal. Find your own normal. Find what works for you. I feel like we're in a state.

Micole [00:49:31]:
We're in an era where old Normal ain't normal anymore. It's not the american dream anymore. You got to do certain stuff, and it'd be black and white anymore. We're constantly changing what is deemed as normal. Right. So I think that I would tell my younger self, whatever you want, do what you want to do, not what people think you should do or not what you think you should do, like, what do you want? And do that. And don't waste time on anybody else's wants and needs but your own.

Chi Quita Mack [00:50:19]:
All right, mama. So the next thing I wanted to do was actually transition into your journal titled finding the you in yourself. Can you tell me a little bit more about that and what it meant to you once you accomplished such a big deal as to even writing and publishing a journal?

Micole [00:50:37]:
All right, I will say finding the you in yourself has a sequel coming, so I will close that. It is currently being worked on. I found that that version worked for. It's like levels to it. So like I said before, that rediscovering that, finding you, there's so many different levels to it. So I mentioned in that journal. Well, I'll give you an outline of how it works. It's currently not available because I am getting ready to put the next one up, and I wanted it to be like a bundle.

Micole [00:51:17]:
So if you don't have it and you want it, you can message me and I can get it for you. But the outline of it is very. It goes back to the beginning. So in my own rediscovering, I found that I had to figure out where I lost myself in the first place. And when you're trying to find yourself, you have to figure that out first. Because if you don't figure that out, sometimes you can be doing the work. And by not healing from those reasons why you lost yourself in the first place, you won't really truly find yourself. So the journal starts with you really going all the way back to where you felt like you knew who you were.

Micole [00:52:07]:
Me personally, it was so far. It was all the way in my childhood. And sometimes that's what it takes. Now, don't get me wrong. I am not a therapist. I'm not a licensed therapist. My mother actually is. So I grew up with her terminology.

Micole [00:52:27]:
I grew up seeing her work, hearing her work. So I feel like that's where I get my help me attitude from, is from seeing her help people. I've been to therapy. I tell people all the time, the best university you can ever go through is experience. I have never went to college. However, I hold careers and titles based off of my experience and based off of God's blessings. But you have to know where things happen to fix them, right? So me writing this journal and me creating this journal was strictly based off experience. It doesn't mean you don't do the work.

Micole [00:53:13]:
It doesn't mean you don't go to therapy. It doesn't mean that you make me your therapist. It doesn't mean you make you your therapist. It is about finding your therapy. It is about finding yourself. So the first step in the journal is to figure out where you lost yourself in the first place. Once you do that, the real work starts. And from there, it's a process.

Micole [00:53:39]:
It has a section in there where you have to find a therapist and you have to write down your first appointment because that helps. A lot of times in black households especially, we didn't want to talk about talking to somebody else about what should have talked about. We labeled ourselves as what we thought was wrong with us or what people thought was wrong with us, or what grandma said was wrong with us. You bad. You need to sit down somewhere. No, you're not bad. You need help. And we didn't want to talk about those things.

Micole [00:54:15]:
So a big thing about my journal and a crucial part about it is you have to do the work. And doing that work means seeking help while you're on the journey. And if you don't follow the steps, you're going to miss something. And if you stop too soon, you're going to miss something. So then it goes to finding your therapist, then it goes to really going into what you want, diving into, what do I want? I know where I went wrong. How did it affect me, and how do I move forward and change the effect of it? So for me, my childhood, it went all the way back to me losing myself in a relationship had to do with my mother losing herself in hers. And I saw that, and I felt like good relationships sacrificed yourself, and you had to be the woman that held it together regardless. And when you didn't, something was wrong.

Micole [00:55:26]:
So I had to dive back into that, and I had to change that because for a long time, I thought that my mother was a victim. But then looking at it in a positive way, I learned everything about motherhood from her. She was a single mother. I survived single motherhood based off of what I saw her do and what I saw her didn't do, what she didn't do, and what I never wanted to do for my child. So I was able to change the way I saw something negatively happen to me and make it a positive. Once you do that and you find the good in your ugly situation, you start to look at that perspective totally different. It no longer hinders you. It motivates you.

Micole [00:56:13]:
So once I realized, okay, I lost myself in this relationship because I thought, because of my childhood and this happened to me, I had to do this, too. And then once I changed, the thought process of this wasn't bad for me. This taught me everything I needed to know. Like, my mother taught me that if you want something, you got to go get it. And sometimes the sacrifice is you got to get another job or you got to work twice as hard. So I picked up the hard worker trade. I'm always working. And I realized, wow, I always said that she was working, but I never went without, ever.

Micole [00:56:55]:
I thought that was a bad thing, that my mommy didn't have dinner on the table and I had to teach myself how to cook. But it was a good thing because there was food for me to eat. I didn't necessarily look at my situation as a good situation, but it was, and I was able to change that process. So the journal helps you do that. And then my favorite part about the journal is it requires you to find yourself again by experience. It requires you to get up off your butt, get out, and find what Nicole likes to do. It requires you to do the work you have to. It's a section in there where you completely stop the journal.

Micole [00:57:41]:
And all you do for however long it takes is try things. Today I'm going to go to the movies alone. I don't like going to movies. However, I really like movie popcorn. I'm going to buy me some popcorn for the house, and I'm going to eat popcorn and watch a movie at the house because I don't like going out alone. It's a section where you write what you did, and if you like it, you keep it. But if you didn't like it, you find what you liked in it to try something else. Right? So I don't like the park.

Micole [00:58:21]:
However, I loved the lake. Like, I loved how it had a lake or a sitting place. So I need to find sitting places. It doesn't necessarily have to be a park, but I need to find the aesthetic, the scenery. So it has, you turn these things that you think that you used to like into something else or to keep the things that you still like. Right? And all while doing these things, you're finding yourself. You're figuring out what you like, not anybody else but you. You can't do these things with people.

Micole [00:58:55]:
That's one of the requirements. You have to do them alone, and you can't not do them. Like, you can't move on until that step is complete. And it tells you this could be a six month process. This can be a five month process, but it does. And in that journey of discovering yourself and finding yourself, you'll fall in love with yourself. You'll learn how to date yourself, and you'll learn how to spend time with yourself, and you'll learn how to set apart time for yourself, right? And then you take all those things and you cut them out and you put them in a jar in the end. And every day you remember to get your moment and you pick something out of the jar for you to do.

Micole [00:59:41]:
You take ten minutes of your day, of some things that you like and you do them. And that's how you remember who you are under everything. Because I found that. I found who I was, but I wasn't able to apply that to my life. And I'm like, why can't I apply it to my life? I'm not making the time to do that. So at the end of the day, when the whole house is quiet, when everybody goes down, even if I go to the refrigerator and get my salted caramel ice cream, I have done something for me. I have made time for me. And that is a beautiful thing.

Micole [01:00:14]:
I'm talking one spoon, one carton, no noise, just peace. And salted caramel and buttercream. And it is like heaven to me. And the task is to never let a day go by without doing something for you or not remembering you. You are a factor in your day. So I bust my butt for jobs, for my children, for my family. But if I don't do something that I wanted to do in that day, something is wrong. So I made it a habit.

Micole [01:00:51]:
And once you make it a habit, you won't need the jar anymore. You'll just know at the end of the day, crap. What can I do for me? I'm going to watch a tv show. I know I shouldn't be sleep, but this is what I want to do. And I remembered me today. And by doing that, you're loving on you more and you're remembering you more and you're including yourself in your day. And that really matters. So that is the base of finding the you and yourself.

Micole [01:01:21]:
And the next one will be finding the you and something. I'm not sure what that something will be. Maybe it'll be in life or love, or I'm not sure where the direction is going, but it'll be pulling the you out of something else. Because I feel like in everything that we do, we should exist in some sort of way. So now, as I'm discovering this journey with love and dating, I really don't want to lose myself in it. I want to make sure that I exist. Where love is. Love is a sacrifice.

Micole [01:01:58]:
And I'm a type of lover. Where sometimes the love that I give precedes the love for everything else. I'm an all in person and I want to learn how to do that without negating me, without compromising me. So we'll see where that journey goes, and we'll release that one and see who that one is for. But I'm really excited about it, and we'll see.

Chi Quita Mack [01:02:28]:
I'm excited. I'm excited for you. And, yes, I want that one.

Micole [01:02:33]:
Yeah, we'll see what happens. I want to do all segments, like maybe motherhood. Everything is a journey. Everything is a journey. Everything is a different journey. And I didn't realize that at first, and now I do. So I want to make sure that I'm able to cater to the different levels of life and not just be so simple when it comes to it, because it's work, and you don't want people to think that, okay, I did the work, now it's done. No, the work continues and continues, and it gets there.

Chi Quita Mack [01:03:09]:
And I think that's important when we talk about the healing journey and rediscovery journey. It's a circle. Like, my framework is a circle because this is what we're doing, 1234, and we want these five outcomes, and then we got to go back to 1234 again to get these five outcomes. It's always continuous, and so you're always building your tool bag. Always use tool bag. You're building your tool bag. So that way, when a situation occurs, you know what to look through and pull out and utilize. And it always starts from the beginning.

Chi Quita Mack [01:03:43]:
So I love that your journal is going to take us to the beginning because I believe that no matter where we're trying to go in life, we have to start with the past. Got to go that way. Because a lot of who we are now and what we do is because.

Micole [01:03:59]:
Of those rooted instances.

Chi Quita Mack [01:04:01]:
And you probably don't even realize, why do I do that? Oh, my God. It's something as simple as putting butter in the freezer. I always use that analogy, but in real life, my mom always put the butter in the freezer. I don't know why. Don't ask me why. I don't know. Guess what I did. I put the butter in the freezer.

Chi Quita Mack [01:04:17]:
Put the butter in the freezer, and I'm like, I don't know.

Micole [01:04:22]:
My mama did it, and now I.

Chi Quita Mack [01:04:24]:
Don'T anymore because I'm like, it makes.

Micole [01:04:25]:
It difficult for me, but I still.

Chi Quita Mack [01:04:27]:
Did it because my mama did it. But just like that, there's so many things we react to or we feel close, hold on, or, like, trust issues, and you're like, where does that come from? It comes from the past, something you experienced. I want to thank you so much for being a part of the beauty and you podcast today. This conversation was absolutely amazing and I knew it would be because you just have so much experience and knowledge and your ability to share. So I am very thankful for you for being a part of my journey with this experience.

Micole [01:05:04]:
I'm thankful for you for requiring me to walk in my purpose. I run from purpose so much. It makes me emotional how much I run from purpose because it's so heavy. It is so heavy. I took a step back on social media. I'm not as active as I was. I'm not as engaging as I was. I'm not as present as I probably should be.

Micole [01:05:28]:
But when talking about this year in my head, we talk to myself a lot, just me and me. We have a lot of conversations. Of course, one of my things was I really want to get back in my purpose because what we don't realize is there's consequences for not walking in your purpose. And sometimes it is way more grave than just stepping up and taking purpose on because it's heavy, right? It requires something of you and something from you. So I want to thank you for requiring me to walk in my purpose and get on here and start sharing a little bit. So good. It's terrifying at first because it's like, oh, my gosh, I got to talk about that again. I have to reveal this uncomfortable truth.

Micole [01:06:22]:
Hey, it's me again. You got to do all these things, but it's so satisfying when it's over and said and done and you really feel like, yes, it made a difference to get that out, not just for me or for you or for who's listening. So if I can leave anybody with anything, it will be to answer the call for purpose. Because if you don't, there are some things that come with that and you might not like them. They might be worse than actually just answering the phone. You might have to listen to a long, detailed voice message about it or something, but answer the phone. Purpose is calling. Yes.

Chi Quita Mack [01:07:10]:
Listen to the voice. Listen to that little voice that won't leave you alone, that won't leave you.

Micole [01:07:14]:
Alone and do it.

Chi Quita Mack [01:07:17]:
Can you tell everybody where they can find you on social media?

Micole [01:07:20]:
Absolutely. First name, last name, Nico Forte on all platforms. The ride podcast currently taking a little backseat because we doing some rediscovering right now. So I have to figure out what we're talking about. But I'm here on yours, which is absolutely great. You guys tuning into this one and you can tune into some of my old episodes. They still hold a little weight and they still hold a whole lot of truth. Right.

Micole [01:07:46]:
So I'll be back soon, and I'll let you guys know when I am. But all platforms you can find me.

Chi Quita Mack [01:07:51]:
At Nicole Forte, and everything will be linked to the show notes below. All right, everybody, thank you for listening. And until next time, thank you for.

Jacqueline G. [01:08:03]:
Joining us on this week's episode of the Beauty and you podcast. Don't forget to rate, review and subscribe. Visit us@thetaquitamac.com or join us on Instagram at thetaquitamac for your daily motivation and inspiration. Tell a friend to tell a friend. Until next time.